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Baby Name Regret for the New Millennium

Eccentric names may seem like a good idea at the time, but parents could sing a different tune as they watch their progeny go through life sounding like a tech product.

Baby Name Regret for the New Millennium

Would you name your child Taco B.M. Monster, Thinn or Espn? Those are just a few of the strange appellations found on lists compiled by Babycenter.com and Deadspin

Another website, Gawker.com, calls the trend toward unusual baby names "terrifying," and notes: "You can listen to the English language screaming for help as these parents cobble together letters and syllables that have no place being near one another."

Babycenter's 2012 list of odd monikers includes Jury, Yoga, Fedora and Leeloo for girls -- and Ball, Drifter, Hippo and Haven'T for boys. (The website apparently missed Mission Hospital's first newborn of 2012, Zeus.)

Against that backdrop, writer Abi Cotler O'Roarty explores the phenomenon of "baby name regret":

My youngest child was called in to see the doctor, but I didn’t realize it at first because her name was mispronounced. I cringed. It's Kyra with a long "y" not a short one.

On another occasion, we went to a neighbor’s tea and my daughter's and my name were both misspelled on the table place cards. Why did we spell hers that way, I think. Why didn’t I learn from my own name?!

What I’m experiencing is known as name regret and it’s not fun. For me, it’s merely an occasional spelling issue, but some parents torture themselves for months or longer after having a child, wondering if they should’ve picked a different name. I had a friend with a daughter named Bohdi, an adorable name in my opinion, but she mulled the idea of switching her to Cinnamon, even into the girl's second year. The latter name appalled me. To me, where there’s a Cinnamon, a drink on a cocktail tray isn’t far behind.

But the naming thing is personal. Some parents don’t reveal their choices until the baby is born, just so they don’t have to field opinions. We tried that with my first. Because it was really only our parents whose comments we couldn’t handle, we ended up telling friends not family -- until my esthetician announced the name to my mother-in-law at the shower, assuming she knew. You can  imagine how well it went down with that sweet woman when she realized “Everyone knows your names but us!”

Research has shown that the hand-wringing over names is neither minor nor unwarranted. A  British study of 3,000 parents released in 2010 suggests one in five parents regrets the name they chose for a child. According to another  study, boys with “girlish” sounding names like Ashley or Shannon are more likely to have behavioral problems in class. Also, it’s been found that people have preconceived notions about which names sound lower in socioeconomic status and they treat people with these names differently, especially in school.

This year, several names jumped higher on the popularity list which will undoubtedly lead to name regret for some. These include Siri, Mars, Mac and Luna. Three of those sound to me like tech products, and the fourth evokes the eccentric girl from Harry Potter. I can hear it now, “Academics aren’t Luna’s strong suit, but all her teachers say she is just such an individual!”

Last weekend, a woman posted a picture of a baby on Facebook, saying, “Hashtag Jameson was born at 10 oclock last nite. She weys 8pounds and i luv her so much!!!!!” Apparently this, finally, has gone too far for people and the negative and absurdist  chatter has been flowing ever since.

In my opinion, many first-time parents make the name decision without the ability to look forward into the child’s life and the environment into which they’ll take the name. I’m sure I did this too. It's much like when I chose a pediatrician with excellent credentials while pregnant, but once I actually had another tiny person with me and saw how clinically the doctor related to her, I regretted my decision. I realized I’d forgotten to bring my daughter's needs and wants into the equation. This was understandable—given that until that point I'd really only made decisions for myself, not others.

On the flip side, parents who look too far to the past may be dooming their kids to names that bore and fail to leave a mark. Bets have already begun on names for the Royal baby-in-utero in the UK. Not that it’s a tough pick—most of them include some combination of Charles or Elizabeth. This very imaginative pool is sure to encourage individuality in the new century.

Still, I’ll take a good solid Charlie over Hashtag any day. About the current boom in odd naming, comedian  Dean Obeidallah on cnn.com writes, “While I don't want to rain on creativity, let's be honest -- these weird names are more about parents showing off their 'cleverness' than about finding a name that fits the child. It's not like the parents got to know the child first for a few months and then said, 'You know this baby really is a little Siri.' "

Obeidallah goes on to say that if parents are allowed to saddle these future grownups with such names as Apple and Mars, the kids should be allowed to call their mom and dad by any name of their choosing. On this, I think I’ll let him have the last word. It’s just too fun for me to consider kids looking through a crowded store for their parents, calling out at the top of their lungs, “Angry Birds, You Tube, where are you guyyyyyyyys?”

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