21 Aug 2014
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My Tree Has Gone Sour and I’m Really Quite Angry!

And other holiday annoyances.

My Tree Has Gone Sour and I’m Really Quite Angry! My Tree Has Gone Sour and I’m Really Quite Angry!

I woke up this morning, not in the greatest of moods. We all have those days, nothing new or interesting about it. But when you have a weekly article to write, it can be a pain in the butt! I told my husband I was afraid to write my article because I knew it was going to come off whiny and sullen. It’s hard not to let my mood affect what I write about. So I have decided to embrace my bad mood and write about my holiday pet peeves.

To start, my Christmas tree has gone sour. All of a sudden two days ago, I noticed a gross smell in my house. For once it wasn’t the smell of a dirty diaper or the cat box. It was a weird and sour smell that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Suddenly, while walking by my tree, I realized what it was. You would think that my tree was made of milk it is so sour. Seriously, what is that? I’m so annoyed. My plan to solve this problem? I am going to go to the store and buy one of those holiday air fresheners and spray it all over my tree. I wonder if they make a “new tree” smell like they do for “new cars." 

Peeve #2 – All I wanted was How the Grinch Stole Christmas on DVD from Target for $12.99. Do you think they had anymore on the shelf when I went there at 3:00? No, of course not. But in my and David’s not-thinking-they-would-ever-not-have-it brains, we had been telling Madison all day that we would be going to get it. I will leave out the expletives that were screaming in my head, knowing it wouldn’t fly to tell the 2-year-old that we weren’t getting it. We set off for the second nearest place which was Best Buy. I sent my husband off with a week’s worth of food, a first aid kit and a whistle. Best Buy on a Sunday before Christmas? Ha ha ha! Are we insane? I sat in the car and wished my husband good luck.

He calls me annoyed that they only had the Blu-ray, DVD combo which of course costs more than my planned for $12.99. Oh well, at least it was on sale. But this has now lead to my next peeve…

#3 – Christmas movies that I now have to watch 3,000 times. My child, like most children, will get on some sort of kick and have to eat something, hear something or watch something a thousand times before she gets bored of it. This week? The song “Party Rock” which she wants to listen to for the entire car ride. My max is 2. She managed to ruin one of my favorite songs! And now How the Grinch Stole Christmas. Before we purchased the DVD, she would watch it on the DVR. So we have already had to watch this movie more times than we would like. But now that we have the DVD, it’s all she watches. I’m all for watching an angry, green guy ruin peoples crap, but I AM DONE! I will cheer for joy when this disk gets packed up with all of the other Christmas items the day after Christmas. Yes, that’s right. We don’t wait for the New Year. There will be no sign of Christmas in our house the day after Christmas. Once the holiday is over, I want no sign of it for another year.

#4 – White Elephant gift exchange. For those of you that haven’t been exposed to one of the worst holiday “games” ever created, let me enlighten you. Everyone buys a present for a pre-determined amount, usually around $10 or so. The gift can be something nice that people are going to actually want, or it can be crap that no one wants. Everyone picks numbers in accordance with how many people are playing. If you have the highest number, you can just sit back and relax. But for those who get the low numbers, your nightmare is just beginning.

The person with #1 picks a wrapped present from the pile. If you are #1, don’t even bother liking your present because chances are, someone is going to take it from you. Yes, my friends, the annoying, want to cry and hit someone part of this game is that everyone who has a number higher than yours can steal your gift. That’s right. Don’t get too cozy with that new scarf or makeup kit because it will no longer be in your possession in a turn or two.  The gift can usually only be stolen a certain number of times and when it is stolen from you, you can then steal from someone else or pick from the pile of presents. Complicated and annoying. Two of my faves.

I will fully admit that I am a sore loser. I am always the person that ends up with the low number, therefore losing any decent gift that I may want. So my coping mechanism for this game is just to steal the crappy gift that no one wants. One year it was a Hello Kitty makeup bag filled with child’s stuff. Not sure why that was a gift at an adult party but whatever. My daughter enjoyed it like I knew she would. Oh, and can’t forget the hair “bump-it!”, because I have always wanted hair that looked like I was accepting a country music award.

And finally, my #5 holiday pet peeve – People who leave their Christmas lights up and on for months after Christmas. Why?? If I am driving by your house in January and your lights are on, it’s a guarantee that I am screaming curses at you. Sure, they look pretty and sparkly, but they should not be there to celebrate Valentine’s Day! So, if you are a Christmas light leaver-upper, please for the love of all holidays (and my sanity), take your lights down!

Hopefully, I will wake in a better mood when it’s time to write my next article, but if not, watch out because I may make the Grinch look like Santa Claus.

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