Jul 26, 2014
Mostly Cloudy

Handling the Holidays with Love and Forgiveness

Making Peace with the Past is a Healing, Empowering Process. It’s the Reason for the Season, A Gift to Yourself that Keeps on Giving.

Handling the Holidays with Love and Forgiveness Handling the Holidays with Love and Forgiveness Handling the Holidays with Love and Forgiveness

Authentically releasing another is more than just lip service. It entails sincerely opening your heart, truly blessing those who have harmed you, recognizing they’re troubled, flawed, wounded individuals doing the best they can.

Wishing for them everything you covet is beneficial in the long run, since you won’t be wallowing in rage and fury, resulting in relegating your dreams to the back burner. You’ll have renewed energy, passion, and motivation to excel in carrying out your personal plans, desires, and goals.

Accepting your family, exes, siblings, and friends with all their weaknesses, faults, liabilities, and limitations, is easier said than done. However, nothing warrants holding on to hostility, antagonism and resentment, particularly when the damage goes clear to your core, preventing your brilliant essence from shining its brightest.

Blaming those who have committed despicable acts and behaved abhorrently, keeps you stuck in a victim position. Absolving the perpetrators and bullies restores the lost power necessary to take charge of your life.

You have the courage and strength deep within, critical to letting negativity and destructive patterns roll right over you. Consciously choosing to ignore what normally would irritate, annoy, rile, incense, madden, and exasperate, will make you feel ten feet tall. You may find the inclination to continue this newfound vigor, joy, source of pleasure, and tranquility, beyond the holidays.

With Turkey Day looming this Thursday and festivities in full bloom, many single people are faced with challenging scenarios e.g. separation from their children due to custody arrangements, dealing with unfavorable family dynamics, attending soirees solo, coping with the loneliness and/or loss of a recent relationship. 

A majority believe this is the worst time of year to be single. Yet many look forward to an abundance of parties and celebrations where they believe there’s an enhanced chance to meet someone new.

Bringing a special someone home for the holidays can be stressful, i.e. worrying about whether he/she will be accepted. Some perceive a partner as lifting the onus off of them during family functions and therefore, as a rule, are only comfortable at gatherings when accompanied by a mate. On the other hand, this could add conflict if the boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t welcome, thus creating additional acrimony and ill will.

Regarding visitation for single parents, a sticky situation can be turned into a pleasant opportunity by implementing a positive outlook. It’s all in your perception. An attitude of gratitude will get you through much better than one of doom and gloom.

Whether you see your children on a particular day or not isn’t the issue. How you embrace the time you do have with them is what matters. If you’re not together on Thursday, you can still maintain traditions by observing Thanksgiving whenever you’re able to.

Be sure to consistently retain rituals, such as cooking a special meal, feeding the homeless, revealing gratitude lists, albeit on Tuesday, Wednesday, Friday, or Saturday. Your children cherish occasions in your company so it behooves you to focus on the significance of that concept, instead of moments in absentia. Whether a few hours or an entire weekend, make the most of what exists, propelling the spirit of the season to the forefront.

Realize that your children may very well enjoy rejoicing twice, due to double the presents (presence), double the fun. The key word is presence, the greatest offering you can bestow.

Children mirror your emotions. If you’re sad and negative, they’ll reflect the same. If you’re content and appreciative, they’ll follow suit. Actions speak louder than words so wipe the smirk off your face and capture the incomparable privilege and delight of parenthood.

Never give your children the impression you’re unhappy when they spend periods with the other parent, thus causing injurious guilt. Confer your blessing, assuring them you’re looking forward to sharing sunny spirits shortly.

Refrain from tendencies to become Mr./Ms. Scrooge. Spread the satisfaction, especially if it involves tolerating a snarly old uncle, nasty sibling, malicious in law. No matter your internal pain, justifiable ire, legitimate grievances, childhood traumas, everything currently is in perfect order.

Commemorate the meaning of the season by not being a ‘meanie.’ Practice unconditional deeds without expectations, keeping score, or demanding tit for tat. Read or reread communally The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein. Ask not what your family and friends can do for you but what you can do for them.

Fill your "horn of plenty," with affection, tenderness, wonder, compassion, and understanding, rather than material possessions. It will sustain and adorn you in glory producing an improved sense of worth, dignity, value, esteem. Peace on earth and goodwill towards men/women is meant to cover even detestable, repugnant exes and relatives who have treated you dishonorably. 

Stay in the now, reveling in the splendor, procuring pride in those close to you, exulting in a world viewed as overflowing with abundance. In this instance, everyone is a ‘have.’ There are no ‘have nots.’

Singles Slogan for Today: I opt for a mind-set of indebtedness. My cornucopia is filled with prosperity. My soul sores and flourishes. I have enough. I am enough. I give thanks for all good things, including:___________________________________________(List ten).    

Don’t miss updates from Patch!