The Importance of Intimacy in Women's Sexual Health

The prevailing theory around female sexuality is that it's more about intimacy than pleasure. That's because the need to feel loved, protected and respected is essential in women not only being sexually healthy, but mentally healthy as well.

Some health care professionals say achieving sexual fulfillment—an issue that affects 10-15 percent of American women—is only possible when intimacy has first been established.

Christina Brady, a physician's assistant at Scotts Valley Medical Clinic, said women's sexual fulfillment is 80-90 percent mental, compared with 10-20 percent for men, further supporting the idea that intimacy, and all the positive thoughts and emotions associated with it, plays an important role.

Beth Hyde, patient care coordinator and family nurse practitioner at the UC Santa Cruz Student Health Center, also supports that idea. She said being intimate is intertwined with physical, mental, emotional and spiritual threads.

“Intimacy is so much more complex and diverse than simply achieving orgasm, which occurs when people are successfully and happily intimate,” Hyde said.

But can a lack of intimacy sufficiently explain why an average of 16 million women have difficulty reaching sexual climax? And what about the women who have intimacy but still have trouble?

Brady said one possible explanation is the social stigma attached to female sexuality. In order for women to get the most out of their sexuality, they need to understand their anatomy and know what feels good, and why. However, it's often considered taboo to speak of such personal issues, particularly for women.

Brady said she advises her patients to focus more on the experience and the sensations of their body to help them achieve sexual fulfillment, something she says isn't easily done, because women are often too focused on conforming to media messages implying that women need to consistently appear attractive.

Estelle Smith, an employee at Frenchy's on 41st Avenue, said she's intimately familiar with the negative effects that the media's portrayal of women can have.

“If you're feeling self-conscious about the way you look and you're worried about your partner looking at you and being attracted, you're not as focused as you would be if you were carefree and enjoying yourself,” Smith said. “The media do jam that down women's throats, telling them they have to fit a certain image at a young age. When I was younger I had issues with such a thing, which came with a lot of other neuroses, such as bulimia and other eating disorders. I think it affects a lot.”

As for other factors that can interfere with a woman achieving sexual fulfillment, Brady said medications are a common problem. Beta-blockers, which are commonly used to treat cardiac arrhythmias, can create problems, because they interfere with how blood vessels react to stimuli. Antidepressants can cause a woman's sex drive to decrease and can even cause an inability to orgasm, period. Women who are post-menopausal can have difficulty, because of the decrease in testosterone levels, which causes their libido to decrease significantly.

All in all, it's apparent that a woman's sexual satisfaction is achieved through a combination of intimacy and physical pleasure, with the latter greatly dependent on the former. It may be an uncomfortable topic for some, but it's an undeniably important component in maintaining a happy and healthy life.

Women who think there may be a medical issue interfering with their ability to feel sexually satisfied, or who just want to learn more about their anatomy, can visit Planned Parenthood in Watsonville, which offers sexual-response education for women and men.