Psychologist Alfred Adler believed that children want to feel that they belong are important. This sense of connection is so important that it is a primary indicator of how well children will do in school, both academically and socially. We as parents can help our children feel this sense of belonging and significance in many healthy ways.
One thing to do....stop punishing your children!
Punishment does not build belonging and significance. It does work in the short term, and will usually stop the misbehavior for the moment. However, the long-term effects of punishment are destructive to relationships. Kids who have been punished are not thinking, "Thank you, this is so helpful. I can hardly wait to ask you for help with all my problems." Instead, they are thinking about rebelling, or become compliant at a great loss to their sense of self.
Some parents think the only alternative to being permissive is to punish children. They are afraid to give up control and that they will not be doing their jobs. It is easier to just punish a child - in the short term. Positive Discipline offers a lot of alternatives to punishment that are effective in the long term, and that help children learn to be capable and self-sufficient.
If you would like to learn more about the Positive Discipline model which helps build connections and relationships, and how to raise respectful, resourceful and responsible children, check out our upcoming introductory and 6-week class schedule at www.positivedisciplinewesternct.org. .
Positive Discipline of Western CT promotes and encourages the development of life skills and respectful relationships in families, schools, and businesses in our local communities. We will provide classes to parents, caregivers, educators, and youth development workers, teaching how to raise a child using Positive Discipline skills.