Church of Satan Defends DC Pizza Joint

WASHINGTON, DC — It was only weeks ago that Comet Ping Pong in Friendship Heights was just another well-regarded D.C. pizzeria. Fast forward to today, and because of absolutely nothing that owner James Alefantis has done, it's been involved in a ridiculous hoax alleging a Hillary Clinton child sex ring, a man fired a gun in the restaurant, and now the Church of Satan has issued a statement in its defense.

Support has come pouring in from the community for Comet Ping Pong, and the embattled pizzeria has needed it. Donald Trump supporters who were fooled by an Internet hoax claiming that top staffers of Hillary Clinton were organizing a child trafficking ring in the pizza joint's non-existent basement have taken to harassing Alefantis and his employees, culminating in Sunday's shooting by a PizzaGate believer from North Carolina. No one was hurt in the incident, but the community has been rattled.

Magus Peter H. Gilmore of the Church of Satan issued a statement saying it was "disappointed but not surprised" by news of the shooting.

"Satanists are all too familiar with the viciousness of humanity, so much so that it’s codified in point 7 of the Nine Satanic Statements, which were published in 1969 — which we can now unfortunately refer to as pre-post-fact era," the statement reads. "From The Satanic Panic to rampant terrorism, we well know how dangerous people can be when guided by fairy tales and superstition. Fake news and outright lies spread via social media now also may beget mayhem."

Gilmore went on to condemn the violence. "Rash reactions based on falsehoods lead not only to injustice, but can possibly be fatal," he wrote.

Meanwhile, Comet Ping Pong has set up a GoFundMe page to collect donations to cover things like paid security, legal expenses and deal with physical damage that has stemmed from the PizzaGate harassment. In just one day, 316 people had raised $11,815 of the $28,000 goal as of Friday afternoon.

In addition, lots of people have been paying a visit to the pizzeria to show their support.

"Comet Ping Pong is so thankful for the incredible love and compassion that has been directed toward us and our community," the GoFundMe page states. "We are grateful for the support of our dedicated customers who have come to visit with us these past few days."

He didn't get to enjoy a slice of pizza, but Chief Newsham stops by Comet Ping Pong to support the community #MPD pic.twitter.com/n6NcfgLiPW
— DC Police Department (@DCPoliceDept) December 9, 2016

Image via Flickr user Elizabeth Murphy