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OMGPD: Car Stolen … Or Not; $7,210 Underwear Theft; Jesus Missing

A collection of odd, quirky and sometimes just plain weird crime reports from around the area.

OMGPD: Car Stolen … Or Not; $7,210 Underwear Theft; Jesus Missing


Car Stolen; Oh, Wait …

A resident of the 200 block of North Larch called police the morning of Jan. 7 to report someone stole his 1998 blue Volvo V70 while it was parked in front of his home. Police entered the theft in the LEADS database as stolen. A short time later, police said the man called back and said he forgot that he had taken the vehicle to Elmhurst Auto Clinic the night before to be repaired.


News in Briefs: $7,210 in Undergarments Stolen

Some might be tempted to call it an unmentionable act. Here’s the story, in briefs: Wheaton police this week released a report dated Dec. 13, 2013, in which an unnamed Town Square business reported a $7,210 theft. The incident report, which was rather bare, stated that the theft was reported by store employees about 9:12 p.m. Someone, the report states, made off with $7,210 in undergarments while store employees were distracted. The report was not clear, but it’s entirely possible police are chafing for leads.


Baby Jesus, Joseph Statues Stolen

An unknown offender stole a plastic baby Jesus and Joseph statue from a yard in the 800 block of Sobieski Street. Anyone with information is asked to contact the police department.


Criminal Damage to Snow Globe

Geneva police arrested Ronald Zacher, 44, of Geneva on charges of criminal damage to property under $300 after an incident between 4 p.m. and 8 p.m. Dec. 29, reports said. According to a complaint in the 16th Circuit Court, Zacher knowingly damaged a glass snow globe and glass candleholder in a residence in the 700 block of North Street. The snow globe and candleholder had an estimated value of $50, according to the case report filed at 2:25 a.m. Dec. 30.

File Police Report for That Lost Garbage Can!

A garbage-can theft back in August was reported to Geneva police on Jan. 4, almost five months after the 95-gallon, rolling garbage cart was supposed to have been delivered to the victim’s home. The victim said he was still being charged a monthly service fee by the waste hauler. Advanced Disposal representatives told him he needed a police report to document the theft in order to, in the words of the police report, “exonerate him from his financial obligations.” The garbage cart is valued at $313.95, the report said.


Gifts Stolen From Car Trunk on Christmas Eve

According to the report filed at 2:48 a.m. Dec. 25, someone took presents from the trunk of a vehicle in the 0-99 block of Delia Street. At the time of the report, the owner did not know the total value of the items taken. Reports said the presents were taken sometime between 11 p.m. Dec. 24 and 1 a.m. Dec. 25.

Painting the Town for New Year’s?

"Multiple subjects" were seen fleeing on foot after three homes were hit by paintballs just prior to New Year’s and on New Year’s Day. Doors, windows and building exteriors were damaged, and cleanup was estimated at $50 for one of the homes.


Firewood Fraud

Employees at Jewel-Osco, 303 Holmes Ave., reported that a man loaded his white pickup truck with 10 bundles of firewood at around 9:15 p.m. Dec. 30 and left without paying, police said. A bag boy wrote down the license-plate number of the vehicle and the known suspect is a 28-year-old Homewood man, police said. Charges have not yet been filed.

Police report information is provided by local police departments. Charges are not evidence of guilt. They are a record of police actions on a given day, and persons charged with a crime are presumed innocent until proven guilty in court. If you or a family member are charged or cited and the case is subsequently adjudicated, we encourage you to notify the editor. We will verify and report the outcome.

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