Downsizing the Home: Tips for Seniors and Family Caregivers
The Civil War sword. First-edition books. The vintage jewelry. Truckstop plates from all 50 states. Grandpa’s farm tools. Grandma’s china set. Heirlooms or have-to-go’s? It all depends on your point of view.
After meticulously protecting and displaying valued possessions for years, the very thought of parting with any beloved treasures is often a tortuous proposal for seniors. Whether older adults face downsizing from their homes because of retirement, finances, health, death of a spouse or coaxing from family, letting go of longtime belongings can be a daunting roadblock. Seniors may resist while their families persist.
“For older adults, decades of memories are typically built around their home,” said Rosaleen Doherty, CoOwner of Right at Home North of Boston, “Also, one’s personal identity can be closely tied to a home and belongings, so living without these valued possessions is distressing. Navigating the downsizing process for seniors involves recognizing the emotions and planning for the practicalities of transitioning from the familiar to the unfamiliar.”
Fortunately, there are workable solutions for the elderly leaving a long-term house for the smaller square footage of a condo, apartment or townhome. Ways to help seniors tackle downsizing include the following:
Plan for the reduced space. Realtors or apartment managers can help with the square footage of the rooms in the new home. Use this to gauge which essentials will fit. Consider the older loved one’s future lifestyle. If group entertaining is not in the plan, then it’s time to pare down the cookware, tableware and kitchen gadgets.
Recruit family and friends. Moving is meant to be a team effort. Every bit of help makes the process more manageable. Downsizing is often the perfect time to make legacy gifts of special belongings to children, grandchildren, friends and others. Hearing the stories behind the bequeathed treasures is a gift to recipients, too.
Start small. Reducing years’ worth of belongings can feel overwhelming. Start with the room that is least used in the home and work on a closet or drawers first. Once this room is decluttered or packed up, you can use it to temporarily store items that will not be moved to the new home. Work at a comfortable pace and take breaks along the way to allow your senior to share memories about possessions or the home itself.
Create sorting categories. Set up piles for keep, toss, to give away and donate. Relocation experts advise to only handle the item once. Some moving pros discourage a “maybe” pile, but indecision is natural in parting with long-held possessions, so allow some flexibility when seniors express reluctance in the sorting process.
Sell, donate or recycle. A “moving sale” attracts more buyers than a yard sale. With bigger items like furniture or appliances, advertise in the local newspaper and on craigslist. Consider donating items to charities, and for certain antiques and memorabilia, check with museums, schools and libraries.
“Assisting older adults through or after downsizing involves a listening ear and help with adjusting to the new home’s surroundings,” Doherty said. “Sometimes that’s demonstrating how to use the stove or simply sitting down to look through old photo albums together.”
Doherty offers these suggestions for family caregivers helping an aging loved one downsize:
1. Communicate openly. If possible, start talking early about the eventual realities of needing to reduce clutter and limit items to fit into the new home. Together, discuss the nonnegotiable items to keep. Offer reassurance that the move will prove to be beneficial in the long run (e.g., less household maintenance, lower utility costs, little or no yard work, etc.).
2. Show respect. Many possessions of older loved ones are handed down for generations. What may seem like a pile of junk to others may hold priceless significance to the elderly. Honor the senior’s choices in what is most valuable. Avoid the “let us get rid of all this for you” approach to helping older loved ones downsize.
3. Practice patience. Allow the senior time to process decisions. Many older folks deal with limited hearing and slowed thinking and reflexes. Control your opinions about what needs to head to the trash. Stay calm if the downsizing process takes longer than you’d like. Preserving the relationship with your aging loved one is one cherished possession that can’t be replaced.
About Right at Home North of Boston
The award winning North of Boston office of Right at Home is family-owned and operated by Jay Kenney and Rosaleen Doherty, CSA of Marblehead. They have served thousands of local families and seniors since their inception in 2002. Home care services are brought to seniors in all towns and cities North of Boston including the North Shore, Merrimack Valley and the Wakefield/Melrose area. For more information, contact Right at Home North of Boston at www.rightathomemass.net or call at 877-500-CARE (2273) or by email at firstname.lastname@example.org.
About Right at Home’s National Organization
Founded in 1995, Right at Home offers in-home companionship and personal care and assistance to seniors and disabled adults who want to continue to live independently. Local Right at Home offices are independently owned and operated and directly employ and supervise all caregiving staff, each of whom is thoroughly screened, trained and bonded/insured prior to entering a client’s home. Right at Home’s global office is based in Omaha, Nebraska, with offices located in 44 states nationwide and throughout the world. For more information on Right at Home, visit About Right at Home at http://www.rightathome.net/about-usor read the Right at Home caregiving blog at http://www.rightathome.net/blog. To sign up for Right at Home’s free adult caregiving e-newsletter, Caring Right at Home, visit http://caringnews.com.