15 Sep 2014
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Patch Instagram photo by nrg51
Patch Instagram photo by nrg51

The Forever 27 Club

The club has a new member: Amy Winehouse. Just another tear on the face of the world.

The Forever 27 Club

Amy Winehouse arrived this week at the “Forever 27 Club.” When she entered, she was greeted by the eternally youthful Billie Holiday. Winehouse, slightly confused by Billie's presence, asked for an explanation.

Holiday told Winehouse that the club is not only for stars who tragically died at age 27, but also incorporates other legendary figures who were looking for a spot to jam. Holiday told Winehouse that it was Doors front man Jim Morrison who wanted to alter the rules because he became bored with playing Brian Jones. 

"I love 'Lady sings the Blues,'" Winehouse replied. She couldn’t believe she was actually being greeted by such a historic musical figure. 

"Run-along child and maybe later we can sing your cover of 'Will you still love me tomorrow?'" was all Holiday would say to her.

As Amy explored the club, she was amazed and jolted with joy, for she had never seen such a site. She heard a familiar song and at first, had trouble recalling its genesis. Then she looked at the stage and saw Sublime lead singer Bradley Nowell singing “What I Got.” 

Again, slightly confused because Nowell was 28 when he arrived, she remembered what Holiday had just told her. Amy now thinks this is a great idea. Such diversity, just what the Forever 27 Club needed. 

But Amy soon realized that there were some perks to actually entering at 27 and none other than Frankie Lyman told her of those details.  Lyman, who in life infamously married many women, couldn’t help but approach Amy as she entered. Although, not considered “hot” in a Madison Avenue sense, Lyman had always liked talented and seductively dark women such as Amy. He found them interesting and real. Like him, they were troubled and were looking for someone to genuinely care about them. To fill that huge hole in their heart. 

As Lyman approached Amy she said, “you’re the guy that sang ‘Why Do Fools Fall in Love?' I love that song!”  To which Frankie smiled and said “Yeah, that’s me!” He couldn’t believe someone so talented as Winehouse actually liked his music. 

“Amy, because you're actually 27, you sit on the board and get to decide who performs every night, it’s pretty cool,” Lyman told her. 

Lyman motioned toward where the board hangs out and Amy tentatively walked down a long hallway to enter. What she witnessed is hard to explain. But in front of her sitting in an old, dimly-lit type of office was Brian Jones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, and Kurt Cobain

“Wow,” Amy mutterered. Sitting on a couch directly to her right and the door is Kurt Cobain. He was smoking a cigarette with his right leg hanging over his left one. “Welcome, Amy,” he said with a detached smile. He was wearing that light green moldy sweater from the MTV Unplugged concert shortly before his death.

Amy couldn't help it. She said, “I loved your cover of ‘The Man Who Sold the World.'" Cobain smirked and hypothesized that David Bowie probably hates what he did. 

"Who cares what he thinks, the version you guys did was way better than his anyway. He should be grateful you did it," she said. 

Just then Jim Morrison stood up and walked toward Amy, staring directly into her eyes. She was transfixed as he approached and offered up an awkward “hey mate.” 

Morrison simply gave her a playful but intimate hug and gently said, “Welcome home.”

After this exchange, Brian Jones who seems to be all business and possibly the "boss," just like he supposedly was with The Stones, approaches Amy.

Jones explained to Amy that the club is a privileged group and there was some discussion that she should not be included it, to which Amy actually agreed. 

Jones said he was initially unsure if she was “on the level” of the others who belonged. But, because of the insistence of Janice Joplin, she was voted in. Joplin, seated to Cobain’s left stood up and told Brian to “stop his self-important rant” and smiled at Amy and said “you are amazing, I can’t wait to play with you tonight.” 

Jones then told Amy that when someone enters the club, they all play a song of the person’s choice as a band, while others watch. Any musical artist is allowed in the club to watch this performance. To enter the club, you simply had to have died tragically and made some impact on music. Jones then says that on that night, 2pac, Biggie and even singer-song writer Elliot Smith all planned to attend.

Amy could feel the buzz as Hendrix grabbed his guitar and walked toward the office door declaring, “it’s show time baby, let’s roll.” 

Jones asks Amy what song she wants to sing. Perplexed, she shyly mumbles “Rehab?” OK, Jones said. “Everybody have that?” 

As they walked to the stage, the energy was high. Although it was a small crowd and the venue was not much bigger than a piano bar, the audience was amazing.

2pac was there, seated next to Holiday who seemed to have a sad grin on her face as she looked at Amy. After the performance, Amy walked over to Holiday and asked her why she looked so blue.

Holliday said, “I love watching you perform. The whole world loved all of us, but now the only souls that can see this are us. My sadness, you see, is an imprint my soul has left -- like a tear on the face of the world. 

"Such greatness and sadness right here in this room. So much unfinished music that will never be heard.”

“Amy, I hope this is the last time I ever have to watch the club perform with a new member. Please let this be the last time I ever have to welcome such greatness into this awful place! Just another tear on the face of the world.”

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