The Art of Letting Go

From the moment you hold your child in your arms, you begin the process of letting them go. First they roll over, crawl, walk then run. It’s human nature ... they are growing up. 

And old friend of mine, a mother of four, wrote this the other day on her Facebook status about her last child: "First solo steps for Max yesterday. Bye-bye baby-Max. Gonna miss my little sidekick!!! End of an era for this mommy." Another friend wrote on Facebook about her son’s first driving class last week.

We often focus so much on kids and their transitions we neglect how it impacts us. As my friend watched her baby turn into a toddler this month, many parents put their kids on buses for the first time as new Kindergarteners. Some watched their freshman teen walk through the doors of the high school as others drove away from college dorms wondering where the time went. 

We recently hit our own small milestone and allowed our boys to ride around the block for the first time alone. As I watched them take the turn out of sight I realized, this is what parenting is all about. Letting go in small and big ways; roots and wings.

As exciting as it all is, it can be huge transition for many parents and for some it hits hard and unexpectedly.

Granted, some parents are counting the days until their last child leaves the nest but for many, the marching forward from childhood to adulthood can be tough to take. 

I had a surprisingly tough time when my twins went off to kindergarten. I still had my younger son at home with me, but life changed that day. They were officially big kids and the preschool years were done for them. It was a very small foreshadowing of the eventual empty nest syndrome we all will face someday. 

So what steps can you take as a parent to ease this transition for yourself? 

• Take care of yourself for a change! For a long time it’s been all about the kids. Think about what you love whether it’s gardening, reading, exercise or singing. Why not pursue some of the interests you set aside for when your kindergartener is at school or your high schooler is more independent? 
• Take an adult education class. Keefe Technical High School has published their fall offerings which have great classes with a minimum commitment. I have taken several and met great people all while learning something new which feeds my own needs for growth and learning. 
• Plan ahead for when the kids really are gone so you can step into something with minimal adjustment. When my kids were in full day school I started working more hours as I was able to give it more time.  Many parents take on more hours at work or some volunteer in their child’s school. 
• Above all be good to yourself. Give yourself time to get used to whatever change you are facing.