When Children's Fears Become Phobias

Whether it’s being afraid of the dark or reading aloud in class, all kids have some sort of fear but sometimes fears can turn into phobias. 

This summer my son took a CSI Kids class as part of a 3-hour summer camp program offered in town. It sounded thrilling as the kids would learn the ins and outs of how science solves crimes. They would learn real life techniques and the history behind them including gathering evidence. My son was really excited! 

The first week, a Framingham police officer taught the kids all about fingerprinting. The next week things got more intense and the kids had to come up with an analysis of a crime based on evidence at the scene which involved blood splatter. My son came home excited but as he told the story I could see he was getting upset. He blurted out, “I have a lifelong fear of burglars and I just can’t do this class!” and started to cry. Part of me found this humorous but I realized that he is entering fourth grade this fall and this class was for 4-8^th graders so he was on the youngest end of the spectrum and the subject matter was just too much for him.

So what to do? We talked about it and I reasoned with him but it was like reasoning with a person terrified to fly by saying it’s the safest form of travel. Reasoning didn’t work. We didn’t want him to quit the class but his fear was so severe we decided to move him into a cartooning class instead but the fear persisted and pervaded all aspects of his life. His fear had turned into a full on phobia. 

Our doctor recommended a therapist. At our first appointment she told me that six of her patients were kids with this exact same fear of burglars. When kids reach a certain age they realize that bad things do happen to people and mom and dad can only do so much. TV images can also be too advanced for young minds to process and this class was apparently the tipping point for my son. The fear of burglars has prevented him from going upstairs or into our basement alone and he will cover his ears and cower any time he hears a noise from another room. It’s been tough to watch him go through this.

The therapist recommended that he take three deep breaths in and out to a count of 10 when he feels the fear crop up which changes his body to a calmer state. Already I see progress after one visit and we trust that he will get through it with a few more visits with her. 

One of the most important aspects of parenting is helping your child to deal with fear and difficulty and come out on the other side intact and able to cope. Seeking professional help is important. Your pediatrician is a good starting point.