Help with homework hassles

Another school year is up and running. I have mixed emotions about that…I love the fresh start and bright, eager smiles. I adore the clean, new notebooks with their promise of hard work and learning. I don’t like the pressure, running around, friendship drama, and wiping away tears after a bad grade or sports loss. Mostly…I kind of dread homework. In my practice, supporting parents through homework struggles is an important part of the work I do to help families get a smooth start because almost every parent confronts homework resistance at some point during the school year. For some, it’s a daily battle and for others, it’s once in a while—when homework goes head to head with a more enticing social event or activity. So what is a parent to do in order to minimize the chances that “you must do it!” will clash violently with “Noooo, I don’t want to!”? I can’t guarantee you a perfect year of every homework assignment completed with a smile, but I am very happy to offer some ideas that—if you employ them consistently—will definitely mean that homework time will be much easier!

1. Set a schedule: It is absolutely critical that you create a consistent daily schedule for your child. After-school activities may make each day’s schedule a bit different from each other day and this is fine as long as the schedule is consistent and predictable for your child from week to week.

2. Electronics come last: Homework should ALWAYS come before any screen time. In fact, screens (TV, video games, iPad, phone, computer) should not be permitted until all other responsibilities have been completed, including homework, activities, chores, dinner and bath time.

3. A short break is fine: It is preferable for your child to do homework immediately after school or an after-school activity. This is because the further you get away from the school day, the more difficult to get a child back to the homework table. For most kids, the walk/ride home or the after-school activity are enough of a break. However, if you believe that your child needs a break before starting homework, there are two rules that make a battle much less likely. First, the break should not include electronics (see #2) and second, the break should be no longer than thirty minutes.

4. A little help is good, a lot is too much: Unless your child’s developmental needs specifically require you to do so, resist the urge to sit with her while she does homework and don’t help her more than the teacher recommends. Too much help at the beginning of the year will create a dependence on you that is hard to break—you will be trapped for the entire school year sitting at the homework table every day!

5. Don’t bail your child out: If your child refuses to do homework, stay in close contact with the teacher, and allow him to receive consequences in school. For some kids, one missed recess is enough to motivate him to do homework every day!

I will end my advice by wishing you easy homework days, very few homework arguments and a teacher that doesn’t give too much homework…and I wish myself the same thing!