4 Reasons Why Facebook Should Not Be Your Therapist

by Dr. Michael Oberschneider

We live in the information age, and social media is present in our lives in so many ways. According to the Pew Center’s 2014 Social Media Update, Facebook remains the dominant social media platform for users. But there is very real risk and danger when you put your problems in the hands of your Facebook friends. Just as WebMD and Wikipedia should not be your doctor, your Facebook friends should not be your therapist.

As a clinical psychologist and therapist in private practice, I have seen Facebook create more problems than solutions for those who are struggling with serious issues. In the extreme, I have seen relationships strained and even ruined after public postings and back and forth comments. It is one thing to reach out to your friends on Facebook for general support after a break-up or after a bad day at work or after your kids have upset you, but it is entirely another thing to turn to your Facebook friends for guidance for depression, anxiety, alcoholism/substance use, developmental concerns for your children, marital struggles, etc. Serious enough issues require formal assessment and treatment, and not a brief comment or “Like.” So, the next time you feel like turning your Facebook friends into Sigmund Freud, try to keep these four points in mind.

Mental health treatment is private but Facebook is not. Psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers and counselors are all bound to uphold the guidelines put forth by the federal Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996 (HIPAA). HIPPA is in place to protect the confidentiality and security of healthcare information. Like Vegas, what you say in therapy stays in therapy, and HIPAA makes that a guarantee. Short of the Patriot Act, information from your therapy sessions should never be exposed to others beyond your therapist. But what you say on Facebook is anything but private and there is no guarantee that your public postings will be treated with respect or held in confidence. Your friends can see your public postings and comments, and what you post can be shared with others. Your postings can even go viral if deemed interesting enough.

Your therapist is professionally trained to help you but your Facebook friends are not. Your therapist has gone to school for several years and is trained and credentialed to assist you in your area of need. A good therapist does not just listen to you supportively but also develops and implements evidence based strategies to diminish symptoms or problems and increase stability and wellness.

In terms of your Facebook friends, how many of them are true friends? The Pew Center’s Social Media Update places the average number of adult Facebook friends at 338. But how many of your many “friends” would have your back during a difficult time? According to that same Pew study, 36% of your so-called friends “strongly dislike” people sharing too much information about themselves.

Your therapist is neutral but your Facebook friends are not. Therapists treat symptoms, however, they also listen to a lot of different things from their patients during the course of therapy. In therapy, patients may express their strong and sometimes negative thoughts and feelings on various topics. And while there is no risk or harm in sharing your views with your therapist about President Obama or Congress, or your decision to vaccinate or to not vaccinate your children, or your tolerance or opposition for same sex marriage, or who you thought was in the wrong regarding Michael Brown and Office Darren Wilson, sharing your views on these sorts of topics publicly with your Facebook friends could be detrimental. Your therapist is supposed to cushion most anything you discuss, and he or she can even assist you in understanding yourself better, but your Facebook friends most likely are not going to provide you with that same courtesy, especially when your expressed views may be hurtful, off-putting and/or upsetting to some or many.

What you say to your therapist remains in therapy, but what you post on Facebook can be out there forever. When you say something to a screen or in virtual reality, it may seem less real, but virtual reality and what you post or say on Facebook can in fact be very real...and for a very long time. The universities you are applying to, your employer (or future employer) and even a private investigator your spouse may have hired during your nasty divorce may all be able to obtain your Facebook photos and statements. While your therapist will use the information you share with him or her in therapy sessions to understand and help you, the same cannot be said for the general public.

So, the next time you think that it is a good idea to post something personal about yourself on Facebook in hopes of being taken care of, perhaps you should instead reach out privately to a close friend or family member that you know truly cares about you deeply and will want to help. Or maybe call a good therapist!

Michael Oberschneider, Psy.D., is a clinical psychologist and therapist in private practice in Ashburn, Virginia. He has appeared on CNN, Good Morning America, NPR and other media spots as a mental health expert. He is also the author of “Turn That Off And Play With Me!” a children’s book that addresses balanced screen and media time use.