Teens with Asperger’s Have Fun while Their Parents Network

Last month, Lori Conti’s 12-year-old son Joel attended the for the first time. He told his mother afterward, “It’s so cool to see other kids that understand me. I can talk about all these things I like without being made fun of.”

“I feel happy…now I have friends,” he added.

Lori Conti said she had a similar reaction. “When I came last month for the first time, I had the same feeling he did, because [the other parents and I] connected about what our days are like.”

Gamer’s Union for Teens with Asperger’s is a monthly program offered by the .  The library provides video games for teens who have been diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, as well as a networking opportunity that serves as an informal support group for their parents.

Asperger syndrome – commonly referred to as “Asperger’s” – is an autism spectrum disorder that affects key aspects of social awareness and interaction, language and sensory integration. It is characterized by challenges in understanding how to interact socially.

Bonnie Robertson, a Teen Center assistant for the library system who provides staff support for the program, said that the Gamer’s Union is a natural fit for teens with Asperger’s, many of whom like to play video games. “The idea is to encourage the teens to play group games and to interact with one another,” she said.

At the August session of the Gamer’s Union, the idea appeared to be working as planned. Although three different games were projected simultaneously onto the walls, several boys clustered around one of the consoles, talking enthusiastically as they played a succession of games.

For a while, 14-year old Lucy Matteo of Leesburg sat across the room by herself, playing a hand-held game. Asked how she liked the Gamer’s Union, she said, “I love it, I love it,” with her eyes fixed on her Pokémon game.

Later, she suddenly dashed across the room and sat down near where the boys were playing, although she still kept a little distance and continued playing her hand-held game.

“You see, she had to stay in her comfort zone,” said Conti. “If we had tried to get her to play with the others, it wouldn’t have worked.”

The group of mothers who accompanied their teens showed no such reticence.  For the entire 90 minutes, the women used the opportunity to share information and experiences with one another.

Judi Meree of Ashburn, who was attending for the first time, listened intently as the mothers of older teens told about their experiences. The wide-ranging conversation touched on such issues as doctors, medications, sports, books, life skills, parenting tips and frustrations.

Because teens with Asperger’s are usually bright and high-functioning, people often have unrealistic expectations for them, especially in public settings.

“When we have the kids [in public settings], often the other people don’t understand [their behavior], Conti said. “It’s often the anger that presents, and that gets misinterpreted. People say, ‘Why aren’t you disciplining them?’”

Much of the discussion involved experiences with the school system – teachers and their expectations, Individualized Education Plans (IEPs), IEP meetings with school officials, summer special education programs, and special challenges faced by middle school students, such as the school cafeteria and locker rooms.

Beth Stowell of Leesburg, who has two teenage sons who have been diagnosed with Asperger’s, jotted down notes during most of the discussion. When the conversation turned to home schooling, she said that she had tried it for a year, but that it didn’t work for her family because organizing social activities for her sons was too challenging. “They never left the house,” she said.

The parents agreed that the Gamer’s Union provides a good opportunity for the teens to get out of their houses and socialize.

According to Robertson, the Gamer’s Union has been meeting monthly for about two years. The group usually includes from six to 12 teens, each of whom must be accompanied by a parent. She said that Super Smash Bros. and Mariokart are among the most popular games.

Starting in September, the program will meet at a new time, on the second Tuesday of each month from 6:00 to 7:30 p.m. Registration is recommended, by calling the library at 703-777-0323, or online at library.loudoun.gov.

Sheila Elias of Leesburg said that her 15-year-old son DJ, who has been diagnosed with autism, looks forward to the Gamer’s Union so much that he registers himself at home.

“He reminds me, ‘Mom, it’s Gamer’s Night,’” she said.

At the end of the session, Joel Conti came up to his mother. “It was really fun!” he said. “I can’t wait until next time!”