FORUM: Local Parents Discuss Teen Sex

This week’s forum offers two different opinions about teen sex from local moms Irene Neria and Rebecca Ivie.

From Irene Neria:
Having three teenagers myself, I strongly vote for abstinence! We’ve had “that” talk with our kids, and have discussed the pros and cons of having sex too early. Wait until you marry the one you love. That’s the parents dream, isn’t it?

Though I try to be “cool” and keep up with the times, and reality of teen sex being too common, it scares me that my teens are at the age where it can be their reality soon. But how do we talk to our teens about the subject without sounding like we consent it, or forbid it? If we consent, then it goes against everything we believe in, for me personally anyway, if we forbid it, it puts the teen in the mind frame of possible rebellion.

From Rebecca Ivie:
Teen sex: Don't do it. But if you must do it, at least ask your parents for condoms. And parents, don't spaz out about your kids wanting condoms. No matter how much you encourage abstinence, at some point your teen is going to experiment, with or without your permission. Please, encourage them to wait, and when they do have sex, that it be with someone they care about.

But, if and when they decide as an older teen that they have met someone they love and they feel honestly ready for sex, HELP THEM BE SAFE! Don't fall into the trap of being embarrassed or ashamed to talk about sex. Parents have the power to take the mystery and stigma out of sex, create an open dialogue and supply methods of contraception to help keep it safe, and thereby nurture a responsible, positive attitude.

Of course abstinence should be the ideal. But realistically, teens are going to explore, and it's better if they can talk to their parents, their guides, when they have questions. They'll be more likely to come to you with problems if they know that you're on their side and not trying to restrict them, but teaching them ways to determine how to choose responsible, healthy boundaries for themselves. Give a man to fish, and he eats for a day. Teach him to fish, and he will never go hungry.