5 Things to Look for in a Sponsor

One of the first things many people do in the beginning of their recovery is finding a sponsor. Having a sponsor, a person who can guide you through the 12-steps, can be an important part of your recovery journey and can help guide you throughout your sobriety. A sponsor is there to offer advice, insight, and support.

Sponsors have been around since the beginning of Alcoholics Anonymous. It all started when Bill Wilson, decided to seek out a fellow alcoholic and met Dr. Bob Smith, a surgeon from Ohio. Together, they found they were able to get clean and stay sober, and they determined to seek out others in an effort to spread the message and help others. Thus, AA, and sponsors, were born.

You may ask yourself what are the qualities you should look for in a sponsor? Here is a list of 5 things to keep in mind when looking for a sponsor.

1. A Sober Member of the Same Sex

Ideally, you want to have a sponsor who is the same gender as you; someone who can understand the unique challenges that sobriety brings to each sex. You also want to avoid getting a sponsor you are attracted to. Introducing romantic elements into the relationship between sponsor and sponsee can complicate matters, as well as add unnecessary stress into your life.

2. They Will Always be Honest With You- Especially When You Don’t Want to Hear It

Your sponsor should be someone who is not afraid to be completely honest with you when it comes to your recovery, even if the truth isn’t always pretty. You need someone in your life who has been where you’ve been, who can understand what you are going through and is willing to tell you what is in your best interest.

3. Has Worked Through the 12-Steps

Since the sponsor’s job is to help you work through the 12-Steps, it’s important that they themselves have gone through the steps and have an understanding of them from their own personal experience.

4. You Know You Can Contact Them at Any Time Without Dreading It

Your sponsor should be someone with whom you are comfortable talking to, someone you feel you can open up to and be vulnerable around. If you find that you are feeling uncomfortable talking to them, or even dread calling or texting them, it may be time to consider finding another sponsor with whom you do feel comfortable.

5. They Are a Positive Person Who Enjoys Their Sobriety

Your sponsor should have a positive mindset and attitude about living sober, and offer support and encouragement when needed. People who are able to find the humor in their everyday lives tend to be happier, and are generally more enjoyable to be around.

Wherever you are in your recovery journey, having a sponsor who can walk you through the steps and be someone you can rely on can help you stay on the path of sobriety. Don’t be afraid to reach out and ask for help; there is always someone willing to listen.