Authoritative Parenting Style

The parenting style makes all the difference to a child’s wellbeing, self-image and holistic development. No matter what the style is, it falls into three main categories.

• The permissive parenting style is too indulgent and soft.
• The authoritarian parenting style is very strict and controlling.
• The neglectful style has an uninvolved parent who does not consider the child’s wellbeing at all.

The authoritative style is the best kind of parenting style and it’s the one we are discussing today. In the authoritative style, children are given free rein to express themselves but are disciplined in a fair manner that doesn’t show favouritism. Children are encouraged to be independent and are also educated about the consequences and results of their actions and what they might need to face going forward. Children are shown love by parents and are treated with respect and warmth.

A child who grows up in such an environment is happier, has great social skills, is confident, does not bully or throw tantrums and has better emotional equilibrium. Children of authoritative parents have the ability to think things through and figure out for themselves with logic and clear thought.

This doesn’t mean that the parent doesn’t have any control over the child and his or her upbringing. A child is given freedom but not without the understanding of what it entails to use it. Yes, the parent is not very strict but that’s not a bad thing at all. An authoritative parent leads with respect and love, and not fear. This is a key difference. A child is given love but also disciplined in a consistent manner without bias. A parent may be angry but it doesn’t manifest as anger, shouting or physical and verbal abuse. A child then understands what tough love is. Discipline, not punishment is the key to raising a child who respects boundaries.

An authoritative parent is also open and encouraging. There is no way a child can grow in an environment where they need to be watchful of everything they say and do. A parent is the one who creates a loving, safe environment for the child to feel safe and fully express their thoughts and emotions. The atmosphere is one of respect, sensitivity, and empathy. This is the way a child learns and grows.

First and foremost, an authoritative parent has to be an emotionally aware person. Otherwise an insecure parent tends to project their own insecurities on to the child. Secondly, the parents need to be united in the kind of message that they give the child. It cannot be in opposition to each other because this can confuse the child. A parent with self-confidence and high self-esteem will bring up children with those qualities. When a child does well, it should be appreciated, not expected. This gives the child the boost required to do well in the future as well.

Remember, a child is a precious creation and should be given every opportunity to grow and flourish. The best way to do it is with the authoritative parenting style.