Building Self-Esteem in Recovery

Low self-esteem: a debilitating condition that can keep people from realizing their full potential, often accompanied by feelings of low self-worth, a negative view of life, feelings of being unloved or unlovable, mistrusting others, perfectionist attitude and blaming others.

Having low self-esteem can seriously impact one’s life, making it difficult to go about life with a happy and positive mindset, and affecting your ability to believe in yourself. You may find it difficult to believe others when they compliment you, find yourself thinking in “should or should not” statements, or constantly putting yourself down. So how do you turn that around? How do you go from a seemingly unending barrage of negative thoughts and patterns to an uplifting, positive and happy one?

Just like there are those who have gone before you and given you the 12-steps as a pathway to a better life without addiction, there are people who have gone through feelings of low self-worth and come out the other side with a better view of life. Here are five steps to help get you started on your journey to a better, more uplifting view of yourself.

• 1.Spend time with those you love
• 2.Pay Attention to Your Needs
• 3.Learn to Forgive Yourself
• 4.Take Time to Grow Your Talents and Skills
• 5.Help Others in Recovery

Spending times with those who love you and with whom you enjoy spending time can give you an instant boost in mood and help you get out of your head, even if only for a bit. It can also remind you that there are those around you who love you and value who you are.

Getting out of the house and focusing on others can also help you, as it can give you a much needed mental break and, in some cases, some much needed outside perspective as well.

It can be hard to remember to take care of yourself when you are feeling so down on yourself, but self-care is essential to both physical and mental health. Stretching yourself too thin isn’t good for you or anyone around you. Take the time you need to get the necessary things done, such as housework, eating healthy, exercising, working your method of recovery and getting enough sleep every night. Learn your limits and respect them whenever possible.

Learning to forgive can be difficult, and even more so when it is yourself you need to forgive. As a whole, people tend to be their own worst critic, and pairing that with the perfectionism of a low self-esteem, and learning to forgive oneself can seem an almost impossible task.

Start by realizing that the past is the past and you can’t change it, but you can change your future. You can acknowledge that you may have made a mistake or two, but instead of dwelling on it, recognize it as a learning opportunity, as something that got you to where you are and who you are today. Allow yourself some lenience and recognize that no one is perfect, and sometimes it may take a few times before you get to where you want to be, and that’s ok.

Whether you love to paint, sing, cook, write, hike, play sports or build things with your hands, find the time and places you can go to build upon and increase your talents or learn new ones. Enroll in a local college or community class, find a club that is focused around your interest, or take time out of your week to dedicate to it. However you decide to do it, taking the time to build upon and do the things you enjoy can be relaxing and help you be better able to deal with whatever life decides to throw at you.

The 12th and final step in the program is to spread the message of recovery and healing. By spreading the message, you are contributing to something that is bigger than yourself and helping others.

There are many other things that can help you on your way to a healthier self-esteem, but the five listed above are a good start to you finding what is going to work best for you and your lifestyle.

If you or someone you know is struggling with feelings of low self-esteem, and are in recovery, please don’t hesitate to reach out to those around you for help and assurance. You are often doing better than you think.