Body Dismorphia

We put extremely high and unrealistic expectations upon ourselves when it comes to weight and beauty.  The media displays a myriad of perfect models to choose from on a daily basis psychologically affecting both men and women in a very negative and damaging way.  This can subconsciously cause the "average" person a great deal of stress and anxiety trying to reach an ideal that is far from what is actually attainable.   It can affect children as young as grade school and possibly follow them the rest of their lives.  Is this what we want for ourselves and our children, to compete in a race that we're not really in?  How do we become content with our personal best and stop comparing ourselves to photoshopped images of what beautiful is supposed to look like?  

I like to call them "my fat days".  I will have days where no matter what the scale says, I just feel fat.  I realize it's not rational and there is a whole lot more going on than just my relationship with food.  Some days I feel fat when I eat something, when I'm too full or when the sky is blue.  Some days I feel fat when I see the magazine covers with all the celebrity mom's holding their newborn babies in their arms wearing bikini's (denying of course any form of plastic surgery in the articles).  I always appreciate the line where it says "Oh yes, I owe my after baby weightloss to breastfeeding".  BREASTFEEDING! Wow, these celebrity mom's must also be superhuman being able to strategically shed 60 + lbs. of weight in specific areas of their body via their own breast milk! I have never been that lucky or that superhuman for that matter.

Wikipedia describes Body Dismorphic Disorder as follows: (BDD) (previously known as dysmorphophobia[1] is sometimes referred to as body dysmorphia or dysmorphic syndrome[2]) is a (psychological) somatoform disorder in which the affected person is excessively concerned about and preoccupied by a perceived defect in his or her physical features (body image).  The sufferer may complain of several specific features or a single feature, or a vague feature or general appearance, causing psychological distress that impairs occupational and/or social functioning, sometimes to the point of severe depression and anxiety, development of other anxiety disorders, social withdrawal or complete social isolation, and more.[3] It is estimated that 1–2% of the world's population meet all the diagnostic criteria for BDD.

At the end of my weightloss journey I got myself down to a low weight for my age and height because I really wanted to start working out with weights when I reached my goal.  Muscle weighs more than fat so I knew I would be putting on muscle weight as I began to train.  Getting used to my new muscular frame I still obsess about my weight and the numbers on the scale even though I'm as toned and fit as I've ever been in my life.  How many of us actually will stand in front of the mirror and ask those around us, "do these jeans make me look fat?", when we clearly know that we're not overweight.

The other morning I was driving my daughter to school.  I was telling her how beautiful I thought she was and she stopped me and said "Mommy, you're only saying that because you love me".  I told her that she was right and no matter what she looked liked I would still think she was beautiful.  I had to stop and think for a second.  Did I apply that same principal to myself?  That no matter what I looked liked I would still love myself and think I was beautiful?  I knew what the answer was and I didn't like it.

So we all have a lot of work to do when it comes to loving ourselves for who we are on the inside and not just the outside, including myself.  Our children learn a lot from us so be careful the next time you stand in front of the mirror and ask someone if you look fat.  The next time you feel the need to ask that question think about how much you love your children or someone important in your life.  Use that same unconditional love on yourself and treat that person in the mirror with a great deal of self respect.  Remember, your family and friends will love you no matter what you look like, it's time you do the same.