A Wholly Rollin' Spin

A Wholly Rollin’ Spin

So riding a stationary bike in a roomful of mirrors was a little different this morning. And I can’t believe it all began 26 long years ago.

I was just minding my own business on my way to becoming the best serve and volley artist Temple City’s Live Oak tennis courts and my own mind had ever seen when my mixed doubles partner  told me she was doing aerobics. Sylvia told me she and the other half were jumping around to Disco and the husband was actually finding the going kind of tough (having seen my partner’s partner bat tennis balls around, I wasn’t that surprised.)

Guess I divulged a little too much judgment because within a few hours my friend, the batterer, challenged me to take a class. I accepted…and a little while later I was sweating more than Sarah Palin lookin’ at Katie Couric. So much for the warm-up.

In the past, I’d viewed women jumping around to Disco as the combination of sort of a land version of synchronized swimming and a bad dream.  But within a session or two, I found jumping around with the ladies invigorating, inspiring and mostly, a beautiful thing. And experts were even telling me aerobics was good for my heart. What a bonus!

For the uninitiated, spinning is riding a souped-up stationary bike to music (or Techno) in a roomful of mirrors. Next to swimming (and that would kill me in about 4-minutes), orthopedic docs think spinning is to exercise what Lasagna Bolognese is to Italy.

During the last two and a half decades, I’ve done high impact, low impact, Pilates, step, slide, BOSU, and even yoga (twice.) But for the last 15 years or so, I’ve been a spinning fool.

But unless I’m back on the old paper route or vacationing some place with a great climate, excellent drivers, and no Lane Kiffin, you’ll never see me riding a bike outdoors, especially if that means wearing those goofy cycling clothes. But indoors is another story altogether.

Today, I attended a revival masquerading as a spin class. It was like someone threw a bunch of bikes together…and suddenly the Gospel broke out.

Our leader was obviously in great shape and totally knew what he was doing. It’s just that most of the time he was either preaching to his shoes or rising up, pupils included (I was in the back row but seeing only the whites of his eyes was totally no problem.) Once or twice, I thought I felt the whole room shake…and that can be scary in a roomful of mirrors.

But we were a team (probably modeled after the Lakers because there’s no defense in spinning and we weren’t actually going anywhere) and we had “riding buddies.” When we were offered a choice or a challenge, the only acceptable answers were “YES OR YES?” Yeah, and we were all addressed as “Boo” but there were definitely no “Boo backs” comin’ from me.

At one point, the regulars were up and spinning and enthusiastically harmonizing to the verse of “…help is on the way.” At first, I was hoping for help in the form of a muzzle or a group of men wearing white coats, armed with nets…but then.

There were multiple proclamations that “we don’t judge” but I couldn’t help myself…at first.

And we may have been promised the “Mouse trap” but (for reasons I didn’t understand because sometimes when I judge I’m a lousy listener) we settled on a training ride.

When I showed up for some of the usual cardio at 7:30AM on a Saturday morning, little did I know I was signing up for some “eyes-rollin’- back” transformational spin through assorted fire and brimstone but you know…I’ll be back.

I’m still not totally sure whether I attended a spin class, a tribute to Reverend Ike, or an off-site audition for American Idol but I do admire folks who have the guts to differentiate themselves. I guess the best way to describe the atmosphere in our little room of mirrors was equal parts of unbridled enthusiasm, the vision of your choice (YES OR YES?), and a sense of weird joy that produced a smile I just couldn’t wipe off my face; not a bad way to start the day. Like I said, I’ll be back.

Jerry Seinfeld once said “In spin class, you’re just training for the next spin class.”

But I bet Seinfeld never did a “Wholly Rollin’ Spin.”