Patch Blog: Find the Right Attitude Before You Look for a Job

If you are like thousands of Americans across the country, you have lost a job in recent months or even recent years. You have heard the words "downsized," "laid off" or "cutbacks" more recently than you ever want to hear in the rest of your life.

You are facing a future that is the unknown or the mysterious, someplace you never wanted to be or thought you would be. And the biggest question you will be asking yourself is ... now what?

In my line of work I hear it often. "I lost my job and I'm not sure where to go." "I got laid off and I haven't looked for a job in years." "The company had cutbacks, let me go and I'm lost about what to do next."

The biggest difficulty is not what to do next, but rather, are you ready for a job search?

Losing a job is hard. It's that simple. Your job often provided your identity. Your job gave you direction, even if it was as simple as getting in your car and driving there each day. It may be just a place to go each morning but it was still your place. Too often when the job loss happens it is followed by that sense of desperation, that sense that you need to find something to move on to.

You need to take the time to grieve. You are entitled to have a period of anger, sadness, envy, frustration and even resentment. I listened to a client this week tell me their story about losing their job. It had been a large corporate downsizing. The organization laid off thousands of people; it hit the papers, people throughout the area lost jobs and her position was eliminated.

Then they simply hired someone at a lower salary and gave them a different title. It is not an unusual story. Nothing sets this story apart from hundreds of others I have heard over the past 18 months. This person was still angry, fighting feelings that are natural. The individual exemplified every emotion I detailed above.

This person simply could not move on to the next step. Though the downsizing had occurred over 12 months ago, the individual was still struggling. They could not move on. The frustration was evident in the language, both verbal and body. It was hard to let go and they were a prime example of someone refusing to release that inner self.

Did this person understand this? Did they sense it? Did they hear it in their voice?

My reaction was the individual was simply not ready to start the job search. Certainly, their situation was not unique, but it was so strained in their words and their tone. The job search was elusive for them because the pain of the past was a roadblock to moving forward.

Clearly, the individual needs to take the time to overcome their own issues. The same may be true for you. Look at yourself before you move forward. Listen to the words that convey your circumstances: depressing, pessimistic, negative, off-putting - what are you communicating about yourself?

In this economy when employers have hundreds of potential employees to choose from, they are starting their search with someone with a good attitude.

Allow yourself to mourn and lament. You are entitled to this sadness. But after a period of time, move on. Put a smile on the outside, even if you're not smiling inside, and take on a new attitude.

Be convinced that you are ready to begin your job search, before you embark on the journey!