My Online Baby Problem

Full disclosure, I'm not yet a mother. So, if that eliminates my credibility when it comes to children, feel free to ignore my opinion. However, as a reader of Mommy blogs, Aunt to more than a dozen nieces and nephews and rehabilitating Facebook junkie who frequents her newsfeed often, I would like to comment a little bit on what we post online. While it can be debated what is “appropriate” or just plain TMI, I hope to give some voice specifically to the born and unborn children being talked about and "shared" daily through social media.

"My water broke, we're on the way to the hospital!"

Sound familiar? While they are not yet old enough to speak, much less have a Facebook, users post numerous pictures, awkward updates and random incidents that while seemingly normal to share, are also contributing to a public record of their children's lives. While I think everyone enjoys getting good news or laughing at the weird and funny things we all do, I only wonder about the future and how often we stop to think about what we are posting. In sharing things about our children, by the time they are adults they will theoretically have their ENTIRE lives documented in cyberspace. Relax, I’m not saying all online moms are careless or unaware, but when I see some of this stuff, I seriously wonder if I’m the only one totally freaked out by the “To Catch a Predator” show or any other tale of bored freakers online. 

So, when is it too much?

According to a 2010 study by Internet security firm AVG, 81 percent of children around the world have an online presence before the age of two. In the United States, that figure jumps to 92 percent. This is actually pretty cool, right? Now instead of reading journals or watching home videos, a teenager will be able to go online and see their "virtual history". I just wonder as adults, if they will care that their lives have been broadcast into cyberspace from womb (yup, those ultrasound shot baby announcements) to adulthood. Even if by then they have their own Social Media profiles, by posting our kids lives in detail online we are creating a public record of the stages of their lives of which we have no control over.  

A plea for privacy

I am by no means discouraging the use of Social Media as a tool to share photos, good news and information with each other. Shoot, now I hardly miss a birthday of even my sixth grade teacher as long as they have an account!  Obviously, it is a great way to share information especially in a times of crisis, celebration or tragedy when communication can be difficult. It is a great mean of support and feedback. I just strongly encourage anyone and everyone, but especially those that post about their children to seriously consider at least three things before posting.

(1.) Check the location settings of your phones.

Depending on your phone, your settings are likely preset to share your location about where the picture is taken, including time and day. So, you take a picture of your son at soccer practice at Park X, send it to Grandma in Florida. Then check into Foursquare at the Subway down the street and boom freaky-stalker-dude knows where you frequent during the week and possibly what kind of sandwich you like. Plus, if Grandma’s privacy settings aren’t monitored, freaky-stalker-dude (or really anyone) knows where she lives and also your maiden name. Pretty creepy right?

(2.) Monitor the privacy settings on your Facebook.

Facebook is an OPT-OUT service. That means by signing up and creating an account, you have said, “I am available to be sold to.” No one cares what your email is, except maybe spammers and no one can really do anything with your Farmville points. However, if you don’t monitor what services you are automatically enrolled in, you may be getting exposed to stuff that you wouldn’t otherwise choose. Prime example, ever consider it risky to post  on a “We’re getting married send us your address” event when it is a PUBLIC event? Yup, “Public” means “not private” so it is pretty much accessible to anyone. If you’ve never looked at your settings, take a look. I’ll bet you won't miss getting all of those emails about who is poking you, right?

(3.) Consider switching blogs and photo sharing sites from Public to Private

Blogs are SO great for keeping up with friends. What used to be hours on the phone of girl talk can now be shared with a link. However, if you share it with everyone, you’re sharing it with anyone. Like our home, the blogging world can feel so comfortable that we’ll share or post anything. But like a home, we like to control and monitor who comes in. I like to think of a blog as my virtual home where I decide who "comes over" and "sits on my couch" before I get out the photo album.

In short, I'd like to quote the wise man who so often said, “Think before you post,” to which I will add, “Think before you post, but especially when you’re doing it on behalf of someone else, like our children."