Patch Blog: Napa With Mormons

So when was the last time you sat at a table for five and were the only one who hadn’t ever milked a cow…or a goat?     

And I know these are the questions we all ponder.

The last time I felt like a total heathen was back when I tried wearing jeans to the Oakmont Country Club Crab fest. Later, I was caught hacking around Oakmont with my collared golf shirt not tucked in. So there you are.

But today I tasted wine…in Napa…with Mormons. In fact, I drank my wine and theirs. Now I wonder how I coulda ever wine-tasted any other way.

My LDS/DDS molar jockey buds are all members of my west coast mastermind group. And if you’re gonna be in a group, I suggest selecting a top “dawg” from somewhere like Napa; it’s awesome up here.

And yeah, I’m enjoying our annual mastermind retreat and why not? Last year’s host practiced dentistry in Sacramento and our big Saturday afternoon field trip landed us inside the cell blocks of Folsom Prison. This year, I’ll be wine tasting just past Yountville while my colleagues wonder why I can’t find a better way to spike up a major HDL number.

Shucks, I was brought up Catholic and the priest took a slug of red every single time I showed up for Sunday Mass. Why not me?

We were privileged to spend today with Doc Ray Bertolotti who is the final word in emerging dental materials. If you’re not impressed with Doc Ray’s world class credentials, he also told us research shows there’s a connection between internal root resorption and cat HIV virus (you shoulda seen the Mormons react to that one; okay, me too.)

Before you start trying to figure out how petting Tabby can cause your roots to look like Swiss cheese, I’ll drop another bomb. The latest, greatest advancement in oral health could well be ozone (that’s right, the stuff up in the sky we almost lost right over the North Pole.)

And even though ozone might make root canals, sensitive teeth and gum disease obsolete, the FDA says no. By the way, the best ozone machine in the world is produced right here in Irvine, Ca. and then distributed to the rest of the world from Germany.

So everyone else on earth is definitely wrong about soccer and totally right about ozone. Geez, even the UK uses the stuff and you know what their teeth look like.

A few minutes ago, I took a little taste of Rombauer Chardonnay and suddenly I sense an excellent strategic idea materializing (I’ll add both Henry Kissinger and I have publically given Rombauer two thumbs up.)

I’m thinking four guys who can milk goats but don’t drink wine in Napa just might be the non-scholarship version of Ocean’s Eleven to help me help ozone help you.

Who better to covertly transport ozone across the Canadian border in empty barrels of Napa wine? We’re talkin the cure for root canal treatment here! It could happen. Really.

Shucks, I feel like toasting my LDS/DDS heroes. Any cows around here? Any goats?

Maybe I’ll just have another sip of the Chardonnay…