He's The Most Interesting Dentist In The World, Part II

So going on a year ago, a job opportunity opened up over at Dos Equis. Veteran actor, Jonathan Goldsmith, was asked to resign his classic 9-year role as “The Most Interesting Man in the World.” And in the spirit of the latest Presidential transition, the replacement is a loser.

And I would never presume to be the most interesting man in the world but this morning, while I was scarfing down my Huevos Rancheros, a familiar voice-over voice began speaking to me. And suddenly a hologram appeared, hovering over my table; it was me. The familiar voice then began describing the most interesting dentist in the world.

“It is said his heartfelt storytelling once made a Gila monster weep.

He once accidentally visited Mississippi…and then actually found a toothy smile.

The Dalai Lama most easily achieves solitude in his dental chair

In his presence, small dogs do not bark; they sing.

His hands are so gentle his patients now cry out loud while using Charmin.

His voice was so confident and reassuring even as a young man, that in his presence, former President Richard Millhouse Nixon was overheard saying, “Yeah, I’m a crook.”

Every March 19th, the swallows now ignore San Juan Capistrano and instead return to his dental practice in Temple City, California.

Wisdom teeth were named in his honor.

When he crosses their path, black cats have been known to have bad luck.

He’s already done for the day by the time the tough get going.

He’s built a 20-foot wall…to keep Donald Trump out.

Even though he is liberal, he’s not once smoked a joint, driven a Prius, or bought organic kale at Whole Foods.

When he walks into a treatment room, his patients can actually smell the roses.

When he spoke, E. F. Hutton should have listened.

He springs forward; he never falls back.

Birds suddenly appear when he walks by.

When he enters a crowded room, Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas actually starts asking questions.

He’s never lost a Mexican stand-off but he’s never had one with a true Mexican.

In his presence, Donald Trump has been known to speak in complete decipherable sentences.

He can actually make a mountain out of a molehill.

During the Rose Bowl he attended only weeks ago, when the USC Trojan marching band played “Conquest”, they actually visualized crooked teeth.

He can transform the most cock-eyed looking teeth into beautiful, healthy, lasting, SoCal smiles in 9-months or less…without ever using metal braces.

He is the most interesting dentist in the world.”

“I didn’t always enjoy providing orthodontic care for teens and adults but now I’m obsessed with giving my patients the smile they’ve always really wanted…and when I do... I prefer using Invisalign."