"...Or Are We Dancer?"

…Or Are we Dancer?”

Ugh, just had a flashback but it was real and I’ve never done drugs, not even Advil or Preparation H!

I was just minding my own business (defeating tooth decay and dental plaque as usual) when I heard the terrible noise…it actually raised the hairs on the back of my neck. It was the return of a mindless, repetitious question that used to haunt me even while I slept.

So okay, I’m gonna use a lifeline; can anyone out there help me with this one?  I still don’t know that much about the alternative rock band “The Killers” except going on five years ago their song “Human” sounded more like mainstream but that coulda just been me hearing it every single day in spin class (For the uninitiated, spin class is aerobics on stationary bikes in a room full of mirrors…really.)

So “…la-la-la…are we human or are we dancer?” used to play in my head all day and night long.  And if it hadn’t been for my trusty dental drill and the loud sucking sound our power vacuum makes I’d probably have gone borderline bruin…or worse…if that’s even possible.

And now, thanks to Sirius, “…are we dancer?” is b-a-a-a-ck.

Have you ever wanted the answer to just one question that would totally clear things up?  Like, “Did you really pay someone to sit down and write the “Five Dollar Foot Long” song? Or “Another super-hero flick…really? Or finally, “Was Senator Ted Cruz really hatched in a cave and is he really related to Lane Kiffin?” (Okay, that was two questions.)

So what does it all really mean? I’ve definitely heard better dual close questions. I personally prefer “To be or not to be?” or “would you like to kick or receive?” or “Would you rather be in the active file or the dead file?” But “…I’m on my knees asking the question, are we human or are we dancer?” to me, is like a stupid singular/plural enigma wrapped up in a Sarah Palin riddle.

There has to be some goofy symbolism involved but stuff like that stumped me back in the tenth grade when George Orwell wrote “some pigs are more equal than others” (At least he didn’t sing it.)

So here’s my take and I’m stickin’ to it.

“Are we human?” begs the question, “Do we despise former USC Trojan football Coach Lane Kiffin? A “Yes” means it's only human to err…but not this time. And yeah, it’s only human for us to want the best for others and for me that means Lane coaching, calling all the plays, and deflating all the footballs right in the middle of a tropical paradise…in the middle of the vast Pacific Ocean...For-EVER.

“…or are we dancer?” comes from early American history and today’s mildly interesting anachronism, the Tea Party. American patriot Paul Revere once asked “Are the British coming…or are we dancing?” But after years of scant education and even scanter communication skills, Tea Partiers have managed to screw up the second half of the question.

So the dual close question “…are we human or are we dancer?” is really asking us to make a simple choice. Do we want to prosper and grow and be healthy and see USC Trojan Football domination or do we wanna listen to the goofs who shut down the government?

My answer to that question is “don’t worry, be happy and “Fight on!!! Beat the Bruins!!!

…“Are we human or we dancer…cha-cha-cha...”