Bullies and Sandcastles.

Though my skin isn’t always thick enough, I have three little impressionable people watching me, so it matters how I react. They are (half) a product of me and see every little move, even the subtlest ones. When I want to quit, I need to think about what I’m showing them.

I may share my opinions but aim to do it both passionately and compassionately, as it is just that – an opinion of one. I have no agenda. Zero desire to play politics with the big girls and boys and I care nothing of power but everything about trying to negotiate my way through life in a way I feel is ethical and moral. And I am (was) naïve to think antagonistic bullies are only a childhood plague.

My picture is here. You know my name. You may dislike me, but again I don’t care. Because when I look in the mirror I am ok with who is staring back at me. You and I might stand next to one another in line at Safeway, at a board meeting or a soccer game and I hope to be no different there than here. I don’t pretend to know much, am so very far from perfect. I have skeletons in probably more places than I know but still am generally the same person since childhood. My dad’s favorite saying of  “always be kind,” rings in my ears and calms me like gravity because I am building a sandcastle for me, not you.

When my kids are in environments away from me, I’m told they are kind to others. They are tolerant, though rarely at home with one another. And that is ok, because I want them to be genuine and authentic and if they let their hair down and let me have it, I understand. I do it, too. Human nature. But I teach them when they are out in the world to play nice with others and do their best to be good and kind and broadminded - even when bullies try to throw them off course.

I will rebuild my sandcastle each time it’s kicked down. And when it’s swept away from waves of reason, maybe because I’ve dug too deep, I’ll rebuild more carefully and kindly next time - and apologize. I will continue to teach my kids to kill ‘em with kindness, and remind them that bullies typically have the saddest and emptiest of hearts. Then I’ll ask them to help repair the sandcastles of those who build theirs with rocks and stones and have moats that are cold and sad.