Neighbors.

I'm feeling very frustrated lately. Hate seeing the worst in both myself, and others. Hate being dragged and pulled because I react quickly or take things too personally.

As I've done before with Facebook, I'm now pledging to do with the "Patch," and that's to cease contribution. When nastiness touches too close to home it dominoes and spills, making life unpleasant. This is a small town and while many of us (and I include myself in “us”) are dying to burst and grow with the times of the Valley that surrounds us, we're all neighbors. And I wish to choose #3 and #4 below as my definition.

neigh·bor noun

1. a person who lives near another
2. a person or thing that is near another
3. one's fellow human being: to be generous toward one's less fortunate neighbors
4. a person who shows kindliness or helpfulness toward his or her fellow humans: to be a neighbor to someone in distress

Many of us volunteer, a lot. We do this, while taking enormous time from our personal lives, work hours and well-needed down time, for the benefit of our children, our community, our local and national governments, our neighbors. We involve ourselves in academics, sports, art, music, clubs, politics, troops & dens. We assist in environmental and eco-friendly efforts. We do this for improvement, to aid in bettering our lives and others. We do this for future generations. We do this for our neighbors: #4, for a person who "shows kindliness and helpfulness toward his or her fellow humans."    

The exchanges in the Patch, as of late (well, actually as long as I’ve been reading for well over a year), are thwarting. We are better than this. I am better than this. We are smarter than this. Some smart enough to have gotten elected. Some write articulate responses or ask probing questions. Some are smart enough to check facts and feel inconvenienced and outraged enough to express an opinion. But lately to me, it’s a black hole that divides us and casts light only on the worst in us.

I’ve admittedly mocked the silly polls on the Patch about cute dogs and French fries – saying “this is not news!” But maybe that’s all (I) should be allowed to comment on?

I leave with an apology. While I openly question and dislike the way our city council has been operating, I apologize for hitting slightly below the belt because as a neighbor, it’s not courteous. And when I volunteer, taking time away from my family, I will be sure it’s for a positive cause I feel passionately about – not to excel personally or revengefully. I will try to be a good neighbor. I’ll take your garbage in when you’re out of town and recycle your papers. I’ll signal my turns, stop at stop signs and always patron lemonade stands. When able, I will attend city council meetings, school board and city planning meetings and I will write to express through respectful letters on issues that are of concern to me. I will remember that my voice counts but that my time is best spent being a good influence to the most important people in my life: my family, my friends and my neighbors. I'll keep my moaning to close friends and spare the Patch my cries.

I have plenty of family with whom I do not side politically and religiously and alike neighbors with whom I disagree – we’re stuck together. So I’ll try to make it work by “showing kindliness and helpfulness toward fellow humans.”