Ask Margaret: I am Overwhelmed. What Do I Do?

Question: With cutbacks and people on vacation, I am really unable to keep up with the job flow, AND some of the work I am being asked to do is new to me, and I don't know how to do it. I'm on ‘overwhelm' mode; what can I do?

Answer: What you can do is ask for help. In fact, right now, I will ask for help. Here goes: If there is one of you out there reading this and you do know how to do everything, please stop reading and start writing. Please send a message to Ask@MargaretMeloni.com and clue us all in on your secret, right away. I know the rest of us would benefit from your expertise.

I am not making light of your situation; let’s talk about asking for help.

Do you mind when someone asks you for help? If a co-worker is overwhelmed or
needs assistance, would you rather watch them freak out from stress or would
you rather help? Most of us don't mind being asked for help and, in fact, even
like it. And yet, you might be hesitant about asking for help. Why?

Maybe you are afraid of looking weak. Perhaps you are afraid of looking
ignorant or unintelligent. You might be afraid of rejection. You might feel
embarrassed about asking and you might feel like you have to do it all and that
you have to do it all by yourself. These fears play on your insecurities and your
ego. You know, logically, that you like it when others ask for your help. But remember, we are discussing a fear, which is an emotion and not bound by logic.

What could happen if you just asked for help? You might not get help. If this
is true, then you should step back and prioritize (or ask for some clear
priorities) so that you know what you need to accomplish and when and what you
can work on later.

What else could happen? You could receive the help you have requested. You could become a role models for others, by showing leadership through reaching out for assistance. It takes more strength to be vulnerable than it does to lead by ego. You could draw others closer to you by admitting that you do not know everything. By requesting help, you may become more approachable and
instead of rejection, you might experience acceptance. When you're smart
enough to recognize that you need help, you prove that you are not ignorant. Asking for help could help strengthen your bonds with your co-workers.

You are smart--you have recognized that you need help and probably there is
someone who is just waiting for you to ask.

Until next time; wishing you peace at work. Remember to send
your questions to Ask@MargaretMeloni.com. If you prefer to remain anonymous that's OK. I will not publish your name.

Margaret Meloni is a professional workplace business consultant and resident of Belmont Shore.