Backyard Remodel: The Chronicles of Mike King

It is a truth universally acknowledged that a married man in possession of a wife must be in want of a good fortune. (My apologies to Ms. Austen. Oh, and my wife). This truth becomes apparent when the intricate details of a house remodeling or backyard landscaping project come into play. First off, I sheepishly admit that I possess a rare jewel, one more precious than a spare parking space, or a sane, reticent neighbor: I have an actual backyard, with grass and trees and some space, right here in Belmont Shore. It’s small, but it exists, and I love it. The problem is, the wooden back fence on the alley has deteriorated to the point that it is literally falling down. I mean, I had to nail up stringers between some of the boards to keep it from collapsing. The obvious answer: put up a new fence.

“Put up a new fence.” This phrase has become kind of a running joke in my household. Because, as I’m sure you all know, it’s never just, “Put up a new fence,” it becomes “Put up a better new fence. In fact it should be a wall,” and then, “Well maybe a stronger, better, more beautiful new wall,” until finally, “OK, if we have a new beautiful wall, we need to make the rest of the backyard just as beautiful.” And by the way, “Shouldn’t we paint the house too?”

So then: I have become in want of a good fortune.

Sigh. Together let’s explore the craziness of a backyard remodel project in the coming weeks and months…