Welcome to Belmont Shore: A Beginner's Guide

Hey there! I couldn’t help noticing that it took you 37 minutes, and the emotional support of your 3 friends to parallel park on my street! This must mean you are new to these parts, so allow me to say “welcome to Belmont Shore”. 

First, let me just get this out of the way so we are all on the same page; It is “Belmont Shore”, not “Belmont Shoressss”. It would be beneficial for you to remember this as it tends to give some of us the same visceral reaction as the term “Frisco” does to our friends up north. Although there are certainly many multi-million dollar properties in the area, Belmont Shore is still somewhat of a working class beach town, in working class Long Beach. Thus, we are really only able to afford the one “shore”. If you are interested, the same principal applies to that lovely area known as Signal Hill. (Long Beach does however have an abundance of “knolls” apparently, whatever the heck they are.)

Okay, so you are probably here to cruise up and down 2nd street right? That is wonderful and there are certainly many shops, restaurants and bars for you and your friends to enjoy. Lots and lots of bars actually. You will also notice that there are roughly 237 places to get your nails done. No one really knows exactly why this is, but if you are thinking about a mani and or pedi, it would sure be a big help if you take care of all 20 digits at 20 different locations.

Oh, and if you happen to see some sort of heartwarming community event going on, well that is usually the work of our very own Justin Rudd. Be it a beach cleanup, a bulldog beauty contest, a community book swap or a Turkey Trot, Justin is usually somewhere in the middle of it all, working tirelessly to bring this diverse community a little closer together. If you can help, I am really trying to get the “Bono of Belmont Shore” nickname to stick, so feel free to use it.

Should you be interested in venturing a few blocks off 2nd Street, you will be delighted to see quaint, all-American neighborhoods that look as if they were transplanted directly from 1980′s John Hughes films. Majestic tree lined streets, white picket fences, manicured lawns. At this point in your tour, I recommend you say to your friends “you know, Snoop Dogg is from Long Beach.”

If you venture towards the beach, I should tell you that you may want to keep the boogie board in the trunk. Yes, it is a beach, but, umm….well…we don’t technically have “waves” per se. Because of this thing called a “breakwater”, Belmont Shore has all the surfing potential of your bathtub. We do however, have an abundance of wind, which is why you will see many many people out in the water doing something called “kite surfing”. I am not an expert on this, but it seems as if it may be the hardest, most uncomfortable sport ever invented. From what I understand, you go out to the water, say a prayer, and just give yourself up to the mercy of the high octane winds. Then at the end of a physically demanding day being cold, wet and holding on for dear life, you have to spend about 3 hours folding up your enormous kite thingy into a little bag.

Well, I think that should do it for now. I guess the last thing I will tell you is that Long Beach, and by extension Belmont Shore, is a really a border town between two ridiculous counties. We have no O.C Housewives to offer, nor do we have Hollywood hot shots to brag about. It is a beautifully blurry painting, mixing white, black, gay, straight, tan, pale, rich and poor. Add in an abundance of happy and somewhat spoiled dogs with a cat population lying under cars plotting revenge, and well, I hope you get the picture.

Enjoy.