Believe: Having Children in the Autism Spectrum Leads to New Beginnings

When I was a little girl, I was taught that anything was possible.  My parents instilled a sort of faith in which I was taught it didn't matter what obstacle came my way that you are never to give up.  I was taught life is hard and challenges will always come our way but to never lose faith.  But when my two kids were diagnosed within one year of each other, I hit my first true road block and my faith was challenged.

Since both of my kids were diagnosed, I have experienced every personal emotion possible.  Autism has affected not only my kids, but also my home, and myself personally.  It has brought me to face some of my inner most fears and yet has brought about much needed growth that I believe I would never have experienced if my kids were not diagnosed.  I have felt alone, out casted, judged, scared, and emotionally raw.  Despite the amazing support I received from my family and friends, I still felt as though I was walking a path they had never stepped foot upon.  How could they possibly understand how it feels to have a child who is "different" from everyone else's?  Thoughts of fear ran through my mind on a daily basis.  Would my children ever be accepted by their peers?  Will they ever grow up and  experience prom, go off to college, or ever live on their own?  As I learned to battle these demons, I was also presented with another territory which I had yet to tread foot on...isolation.  Taking two kids on the spectrum to public places became hard, exhausting, and emotionally draining.  Handling their behaviors  and being judged by the public became unbearable.  I was living in fear.  So I did what I knew best and made my home my safe haven for my children and I.  I shut out the outside world and created one that allowed my children and I to breathe, be accepted, and safe.  

But during these challenging years, I remember also saying out loud, "I wish I had a place where I could turn to during these dark times," or "Why isn't there a support group established to help families who are new to the Autism Spectrum?" Little did I know that I was setting my intentions and wishes out to  the world.  I knew deep down inside that all of the safe emotions that came from the world I created at home was something I wanted to bring to the outside.  I wanted a place where parents could go to for information, support, and acceptance.  

Then it dawned on me.  I had to do it myself.  I knew that I had to dig deep within myself and pull out that faith that had been instilled in me years ago.  I had to not only believe that I could do this, but use this faith to understand that all my dreams and wishes were possible.  If I couldn't do this for myself, how could I ever possibly teach my children about their own faith?

Before I knew it, situations were happening left and right that led me to the right people to make all of my dreams into a reality.  It was as though the minute I allowed myself to believe in these wishes, opportunities became possible with a blink of an eye.  Within a year of setting forth my intentions, the Benicia Autism Support Group was established by my husband, myself, and another set of parents.  Next came the opportunity to become an officer with the Benicia Special Education Local Advisory Committee (SELAC).  Then recently on April 2, 2012, the SELAC team was honored to have Mayor Elizabeth Patterson read a Proclamation announcing Autism Awareness Day.  Shaking her hand after her reading of the Proclamation is a moment I am very proud of and will never forget.  

Looking back on the last 4 1/2 years of my life, I now see that even though I immensely struggled, I faced all of these challenges believing that positive can come out of anything.  Sometimes the faith was small, but it didn't matter as long as I knew it was there.  You just have to believe even in the darkest hour.  What an amazing journey I was blessed with by my two beautiful boys and even on my hardest day I know I would want no other life.  Life comes in many forms and experiences, but at some point we have to appreciate what we have been given. So with that,  I want to share with everyone that April is Autism Awareness month and I would like to take a moment and dedicate this blog to all the parents. Whether your child has a special need or not, I would like to remind parents that we all have the ability to make the journey of parenting one to never forget.  We all have the ability to be the parents we desire to be.  So if you're struggling right now, ask yourself are you setting your intentions and wishes to the world?   Maybe, just maybe, your journey will be one you may never forget.

Once again I will leave you with a word of faith that I was taught by my Japanese mother......Gambatte which means, "Let's do our absolute best!"