Lions and Tigers and Bears and Little Green Men. Oh My!

The debate about whether or not our planet exists without the benefit of neighbors, or is one of many in a huge planetary subdivision filled with a diversity of species and strange, gray colored, little guys seems endless.

Area 51 aside, the passionate argument many present to those who seem to look upon them with a combination of skepticism and pity has created an entire culture of other worldly pursuits.

Thousands have spoken eloquently about their encounters with visitors, some friendly and others a bit too invasive for my tastes. No matter the details, real or perceived, the lives of those so affected by these interactions are changed forever.

Whether green, gray, big eyes or long fingers eating Reese’s Pieces and searching for a phone to call home, there seems to be a romanticizing of these creatures. So, do they actually exist? Are they merely in our minds, Hollywood’s need for big budget revenues or inventions of creative writers with great imaginations?

For the purpose of argument let’s assume they are legit. The whirling saucers flying overhead are not as the air force claims, swamp gas, but actual space ships from somewhere in the galaxy no one has ever traveled anywhere near. Or have they?

I hate to sound like Nicholson here, but can you actually handle the truth?

Would the appearance of a little green man at your breakfast table interfere with digesting your granola and turkey bacon?

When Orson Welles enacted H.G. Wells’ The War of the Worlds on radio October 30, 1938, the glamour of alien encounters vanished amidst a panic and hysteria that engulfed an unsuspecting public. And that’s without Twitter, ladies and gentlemen.

People actually ran out of their homes in fear for their lives. I guess such behavior establishes that when faced with the end of the world, the reality of planetary visitors seems far less palatable than the fun of dressing up as a wookie and garnering autographs from Star Trek cast members at Comic Con. Although, please understand I am not knocking a stint as Chewbacca.

The bar in Star Wars populated by an assortment of horrifying and creepy customers wasn’t exactly a Saturday night at Nobu in Malibu or the Sky Bar, although some may argue otherwise, but I shall not digress.

People ponder the existence of aliens, movies portray them, Rod Serling warned us about them and Roswell convinced many they exist.

If they are already here, on their way or just a few miles out of our orbit, I wouldn’t be so quick to welcome them with open arms.

It occurred to me that although ET is adorable in most movies, stories and rumors, interaction with aliens wouldn’t be a day at the beach. Actually, more in line with the evil of driving through LA traffic to get there.

Those who seek to uncover the secret of an otherworldly existence may be quite disillusioned when fantasy hits reality’s fan.

I simply can’t imagine why they would come to earth with any friendly or neighborly motives.

After all why should they? If they are so advanced they can reach our planet what in the world could they possibly want from us?

To them we would be a primitive species, quite laughable and pathetic.

I must confess most days after watching the news and Congress in action that’s the exact opinion I am left with, so what could be their purpose?

If the goal would be to pilfer our resources or colonization, we could be considered a disposable nuisance. Or perhaps we could serve them as slaves or pets?

I don’t think fancy doggy hotels would be a part of that deal.

It seems to me a counterproductive exercise to imagine they would arrive with a dove of peace, but more likely that cookbook Serling warned us about, To Serve Man.

Perhaps that is why governments might lie about their visits. However, I do have trouble believing they would be competent enough to pull off such a cover up with Fox News on the case.

We have enough trouble getting along with one another on this planet, can you imagine throwing some contentious aliens into the mix.

OR?

Perhaps that is exactly what we need to grow up.

I can see only one upside to a visit from ET, and that would be the ultimate realization we are all one species and should do the Rodney King thing and “all just get along.”

Eternal optimism aside, watching the news now I imagine that has as much chance of happening as running into the Loch Ness monster next time I am dipping my toes into the ocean.

If however, it would bring peace I am happy to run through the streets claiming they are here with the caveat, “don’t worry, they are just in town to buy the new IPhone, but they tweeted, ‘Earthmen, Get along or we are taking all your Starbucks#mochalatte.’”

Tough defeating aliens without a caffeine rush!