Teenagers & Goals: Why Goals Are Overrated

Goals. Goals. Goals. Teenagers in high school hear that word all the time. Parents and teachers often try to motivate their students by having them set goals. Many times at the beginning of the school year, teachers and parents ask their teens, "What are your goals this year?" Students may set goals like, "I'm going to get straight A's this semester." Or maybe an ambitious Senior may say, "I'm going to get into Stanford." On the one hand, goals are great! It gives all of us something to strive for. Setting a goal also gives us that initial boost of motivation that gets us working towards it. On the other hand, as any certified Academic Life Coach will tell you, goals are overrated!

Setting goals can actually lead to more stress because it places an expectation that a certain result will occur. However, that expected result is usually outside of one's control. When teens place a lot of emphasis on results that they cannot control, the stress can be enormous and may even have an adverse effect on motivation. For example, when the student who has the goal of getting straight A's gets a "B" in Biology, he may feel like a failure that he didn't achieve his goal. Ultimately though, he was not in control of what grade he got, his Biology teacher was. So, how can a teen have more control while working towards a goal? The Well-Designed Action may be the solution!

A Well-Designed Action shifts the focus from the end result to the process of achieving that result. It is "well-designed" because the student gets to carefully think about what steps he or she would need to do to reach that goal. It is an "action" because the teen must act upon the steps that he or she designed for themselves. 

Well-Designed Actions meet these criteria:

1. They are stated in the positive.

2. Getting started and whether or not you follow through with the action depends entirely on you. You are in control of your Well-Designed Action, therefore, you are accountable for it.

3. It has a good size to time ratio that gets you going and keeps you going at a comfortable and attainable pace.

4. It is specific and measurable.

One of my teenage clients had a goal of getting an "A" on his Physics mid-term. We acknowledged the goal, but then put it on the back burner. We then created a Well-Designed Action (WDA) plan of dividing up his Physics study guide into 7 sections and completing one entire section a night until all the sections were completed TWO entire days before the exam. Then, two days before the exam, he made time to meet with the teacher to go over the questions that he had compiled from his studying. In essence, he had created his own "system" of studying that he found enjoyable and he was in control of it. He owned it; we even named it. He felt pride as he was able to check off each section that he completed every night, and with each check mark, his confidence grew. His focus was on the Intrinsic Motivation of supporting his own study system that he created instead of the External Reward of getting an "A." If you're still reading this, I'm sure you're wondering what grade he got on his mid-term. For two weeks, we did not mention the goal of getting a "A," but we spoke in terms of his WDA. I held him accountable, and he held himself accountable for the WDA's that he designed. He felt very happy and fulfilled that he followed through on all of his WDAs, and he ended up getting an "A" on his Physics mid-term.

If teens follows through on their WDA's, that does not mean they will automatically get all "A's" and achieve all of their goals, but they will begin to hone the important life skill of focusing on what they can control in their lives. When a teenager can turn their attention inwards and follow through on their self-created system, many times they will get the desired result without ever having to solely focus on that end result. Whenever they find that balance, it is a beautiful thing. 

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Email me: hayden.lee@academiclifecoaching.com