We Are A Ford Pinto

Recently, while trying to plan our summer vacation, I came to the realization that my family does not run like a well-oiled machine. We operate not so much like the purr of a fine Ferrari engine but more like the sputtering kachunk of a 1971 Ford Pinto. Our life is not made up of memorable family adventures and smooth vacations, but rather the stories of what it took just trying to get out of the house to get to the airport. "Who has the car keys?" (Dad conveniently left them in the ignition the night before.) "Why do we have some guy named Rob Thomas' luggage?" "Doesn't matter, there's a parka in there and we're going to Vail!) "How come we own fifteen cameras and I can't find a charging cord to any of them?" It's a sad day when you realize your cats are more organized that you are.

What we needed was better communication and more organization. That's when I read an article about how there's a move afoot in parenting towards running your family like a business. The idea is that in order to lower stress and foster more effective discussion on the home front, you import systems more typically associated with businesses. I immediately sparked to this idea. I could fire people near and dear to me, have someone else do all my typing and get me lunch, and once I have keys made up to the "executive washroom," my husband would never leave me with an empty roll of toilet paper ever again. Then I re-read the article more closely and noticed that the experts suggested employing more large-scale business practices, like having weekly progress sessions, accountability checklists, and coming up with a mission statement. Wow. That's a lot of work without getting paid...

Okay, I'm game. So, the first thing my family tried to do was come up with a mission statement. The mission statement should reflect the family's core values, what's important to them, and how they see themselves. Having a mission statement apparently will help a family find common ground and ultimately will create better communication. We discussed our values and goals over the course of an intensive three-day weekend and a bunch of bagels. At the end of which here's where the "Stern Family Mission Statement" stood: "We don't like hiking." We may have more work to do. Then again, none of us had charged our IPads so we couldn't even save our Mission Statement.