E-Mail Trailblazer Raymond Tomlinson Dies: Raymond Tomlinson, the man who put the @ symbol in email and forever changed the way humans communicate, has died at age of 74. All I can say is, hopefully he’s @ peace now.
Woman Gives Birth in Walmart Store: A woman and her newborn baby are doing fine, despite having given birth to the child in a Walmart. And that my friends, is precisely why so many health professionals recommend pregnant women do their shopping at stores like Nordstrom or Neiman Marcus, where doctors do their shopping.
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Diver Survives Being Sucked Through Nuclear Plant Intake Pipe: A South Florida scuba diver on a lobster-diving trip has miraculously survived a horrifying 5-minute ride after being sucked into a nuclear power plant’s powerful intake pipe. Wow, that must have really sucked. You’d think that after that, he’d have had a major meltdown, but witnesses say he came out all aglow.
Possible New Octopus Species Found Near Hawaii: Scientists, searching at a depth of 2.5 miles on the Pacific floor near Hawaii, report finding what might be a new species of octopus, a light colored animal that doesn't seem very muscular. Doesn't seem very muscular? That’s a pretty cheap shot! Don’t these scientists realize there are no gyms at that depth.
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Elderly Florida Woman Steals Motorcycle From Walmart Parking Lot: Police say a 74-year-old woman has been arrested and charged with stealing a motorcycle from a Brooksville, Florida Walmart parking lot. While some are expressing surprise - frankly, once I see the words Florida and Walmart together in the same sentence, nothing surprises me. When asked to comment about the theft, an AARP spokesperson would only say “right on mamma.”
LAPD Testing Knife Found Buried At Former O.J. Simpson Estate: LAPD confirm that they are examining a knife purportedly found buried by a construction worked at the old O.J. Simpson estate and turned over to a traffic cop, who had kept the knife in his home all these years. As far as I’m concerned, this basically confirms what I have always suspected, that the murders were committed by Crocodile Dundee.
Woman Finds 9-Foot Gator Hissing at Her in Backyard Pool: A Florida homeowner says she was totally shocked after returning home to find a 9-foot male alligator hissing at her while taking a dip in her backyard swimming pool. Now I’m no gator expert, but I’ll bet all the "hissing" was simply the gator’s way of inviting her to “come join me for a refreshing dip in the pool on such a hot afternoon.”
Sex In Older People Leads To More Brain Power: A new study out of England suggests that people over 50 who are more sexually active, have better memory and cognitive skills than people who have sex infrequently. I don’t know about that, most women over 50 still seem to have enough brain power left to know not to have sex with me.
Ohio Woman Arrested for Stealing 2 Rolls of Quarters: A Lima, Ohio woman has been arrested for stealing two rolls of quarters from a convenience store which she told police she needed in order to do her laundry. Police then arrested the woman on suspicion of money laundering.