Militia Group Oath Keepers Vows to Prevent Kim Davis Rearrest

Militia Group Oath Keepers Vows to Prevent Kim Davis Rearrest: An armed right-wing group called Oath Keepers has offered its protection and vows to prevent Kim Davis from being jailed again. So let me get this straight - an organization called Oath Keepers vows to protect a woman who refuses to keep her oath?

Scientists Close In On Dark Matter and Parallel Universes: Scientists announced that they may be close to tracking down the mysterious but invisible “dark matter,” which many feel may also help confirm the existence of parallel universes. Hell, if they really want to confirm parallel universes, all they have to do is turn on Fox News and then immediately change the channel to MSNBC.

UK Mom Busted Buying Daughter Cocaine for 18th Birthday: A mother in the UK has been arrested after she bought her daughter 12 bags of cocaine for use at her 18th birthday party. Gee whiz, all I got was a Hallmark card and $20. Why back when I was 18, we had to work two jobs to be able to afford cocaine. If you ask me, kids are way too spoiled these days!

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Here Comes the Bride Manuscript to Sell for $3.6 Million: The sheet music for the original manuscript of the famous “Here Comes the Bride” tune - officially known as Wagner’s “Wedding March” -will soon go on sale for $3.6 million. Hell, they should offer it at half off, given that over 50% of all marriages end in divorce. And should the purchaser not pay up, you can bet “here comes the bride” will quickly segue into “here comes da judge.”

Shaquille O’Neal Talks About Missed Starbucks Opportunity: In a recent interview, Shaquille O’Neal talked about how he missed out on a great business opportunity with Starbucks because he believed that black people don’t like coffee. I don’t think its so much that black people don’t like coffee, it’s just that its mostly white people who are dumb enough to pay Starbucks $3 billion for a cup of coffee. Guess you could say that Shaq found out a little too late that Black Lattes Matter.

New Laser Weapon Melts Test Drone in Midair: A new Boeing compact laser weapon that can burn up targets in just a few seconds recently melted and destroyed a test drone flying over California. Great! I can see it all now - coming soon to a Walmart near you - you’ll have every Walmart half-wit picking one up to take out their neighbor’s barking dog and perhaps even their neighbor too. But the big question remains, will it work on hemorrhoids?

Husband Bites Off and Eats Wife’s Nose: A man from the city of Dezhou in China reportedly bit off and ate his estranged wife’s nose after she failed to return any of his calls. Who’d do that to another person? You’d think he nose better. Doing something like that is snot funny. After eating the nose, the man reported having a stuffy stomach. Weird to think that he bit off her nose so he could finally have her ear. The wife told police every time her husband showed up at her place, she could smell a rat - but sadly, not anymore.

Russian Unhappy With Plastic Surgery Shoots Surgeon: A Russian plastic surgeon has died after a patient, upset over the results of several operations, gunned him down and then took his own life. Good grief, can you imagine how many lives would be lost should the Kardashians ever become upset with all their plastic surgeries? I’m guessing that this is one before an after shot the plastic surgery clinic will not use in their publicity.

http://www.johnnyrobish.com

Wildlife Overpass Proposed Over 101 Freeway in LA: Several entities are proposing a 165 foot wide, 200 foot long overpass, complete with trees and other vegetation, over the 101 freeway just outside of Los Angeles that wildlife can cross to prevent becoming roadkill. Critics of the plan argue that schemes like this are designed to make it much more difficult for Donald Trump supporters to put food on the table.

Tiger Cub Found Roaming in Southern California Town: The Humane Society says a 3-month-old tiger cub has been found roaming around the small Southern California town of Ramona and city authorities say they have no idea where he may have come from. Wildlife officials believe he most likely wandered away during a Kellogg’s commercial audition in Los Angeles. While some residents were frightened, others thought it was grrrrrreat!

Poll Finds Americans Ignorant About Nanotechnology: A recent poll found that most Americans are still largely ignorant of nanotechnology’s existence. And who can blame them? Why sweat the small stuff?