Obama to Rename Mt McKinley: The Obama administration announced that it will change the name of North America’s tallest mountain peak from Mount McKinley to Denali, a major symbolic gesture to Alaska Natives. In response, an angry Pat Robertson told viewers of his 700 Club that we’re just lucky Obama didn’t cave in to the LGBT community and rename the place Brokeback Mountain.
Quickie Marriages on the Rise in Las Vegas: New data show that the ever-popular “quickie marriages” are on the rise in Las Vegas. Which of course, because its Las Vegas, has the added benefit of allowing people to also place their bets on just how long they expect those “quickie marriages” to last.
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Study Finds Restaurant Menus Full of Germs: A new study determined that one of the dirtiest items found in a restaurant is the menus, which rarely get wiped down between customers. In response, health officials are urging patrons not to eat anything off the menu.
Asteroid Spotted Headed in Earth’s General Direction: Astronomers have spotted a 900-foot-wide asteroid they’ve named Apophis which the say is headed in the general direction of our planet, but most likely won’t hit us. Scientists point out that even if the asteroid were to strike Earth - at this point in time - it would pose no threat to dinosaurs.
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Kylie Jenner and Tyga Cited for Being Water Wasters: Eighteen-year-old reality star Kylie Jenner and her 25-year-old boyfriend have both been cited and fines by the Las Virgenes Municipal Water District for water over consumption at their Calabasas, California homes. To be completely fair, Calabasas is kind of on the outskirts of Los Angeles county. Perhaps news of the drought hasn’t made it out there yet. Besides, the Kardashians ought to be exempt from these ridiculous water mandates anyway. They work way too hard to be bullied by a bunch of over-zealous meter maids.
Goodyear Profit and Sales Disappointing: Its being reported that revenue for the Goodyear Tire and Rubber Co. has dropped 13% so far this year. One thing’s for sure, if the trend continues, they may be forced to rename the company Badyear.
Miley Cyrus Says She Identifies As a Pansexual: In a recent issue of Elle UK, Miley Cyrus was very vocal about her sexuality, saying she identifies herself as being Pansexual - which she defines as “being open to every single thing that is consenting and doesn’t involve an animal.” Glad she clarified that, because I just assumed that, with Miley being a former Disney star and all, being “Pansexual” meant she’s had sex with Peter Pan. That said, I am a little surprised at her choosing the Pansexual label though. Hell, you’d think that if she was gonna identify with anything, it would be white trash.
