Politics & Government
Pat Robertson Blames Market Crash on Planned Parenthood
A satirical look at current events!
Pat Robertson Blames Market Crash on Planned Parenthood: In response to the current worldwide market crises, televangelist Pat Robertson took to his pulpit on The 700 Club to inform viewers that this financial crash is happening because America continues to fund Planned Parenthood.
OK, but I guess my question would be, how is it that God is just now getting around to linking all this to Planned Parenthood? Doesn’t he get a broadband connection up there like the rest of us? And since this crash basically began in China, I have to assume the Chinese are funding Planned Parenthood too.
Now I’m no Biblical scholar, but in light of Pastor Roberson’s analysis, I started to wonder what could have made God so upset back in the 1920’s and 30’s that he decided to punish us with the Great Depression? If Robertson’s line of thinking is correct, everything seemed to be going the way it should, after all, abortion was illegal, women and minorities “knew their place,” Republicans were in the White House and that devil liquor was banned under Prohibition.
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So, just to get this straight so I’m understanding Robertson correctly - its the gays who are responsible for natural disasters like hurricanes, tidal waves and earthquakes and its women’s health organizations like Planned Parenthood that cause the financial disasters. That makes pretty good sense.
The bottom line is, I feel pretty damn lucky to have Rev. Robertson to explain everything for us, because like so many, I would have erroneously assumed that if God was gonna get angry at his flock, it would be over something such as failing to come to the aid of the poor, mistreatment of people of color, discrimination against our LGBT neighbors, ignoring the needs of the disabled or the poisoning our environment – but not over the Congressional funding of women’s health issues. Who could have known? But then again, as I’m sure Pastor Robertson would be quick to say, “the Lord does work in mysterious ways.”
