Children: Emotional Intelligence, Self-Regulation and Parenting

 Emotional problems in children are lessened when the child has the ability to self-regulate his or her emotions. The ability to respond appropriately within a given emotional context is believed to be the product of neurobiology, genetics, and environment.

 Children who are able to move along the lifespan continuum on a mostly positive trajectory do so for a variety of reasons –just as those who find themselves on a mostly negative trajectory do so for a variety of reasons. Plenty of “bad” kids had parents who tried hard and loved them. These “bad” kids were given all of life’s basic necessities and perhaps were even afforded some of the nicer things in life. Similarly, many “good” kids have come from broken homes of low economic status manage to make better choices that coalesce over time to produce better outcomes than others in their same cohort.

In 1996 Chess and colleagues identified various temperaments of babies and categorized them as follows: (1) Easy, (2) Difficult, and (3)Slow to Warm Up. (Chess, Stella, Thomas & Alexander, 1996)

Easy

Children who are Easy are able to adapt well to change or new things and have the ability to transition well to and from different things. They are active, alert and respond well to change. When adults place a high value on social satisfaction, tranquility, stability and comfort they gravitate more towards positive activities like family, friendships, solid relationships, and tend to be more rooted and grounded. Easy children fortunate enough to be born to parents who value family and social consequences are likely to turn out as highly functioning and productive members of society. When parents avail themselves as role models to their children who are worth emulating the results are usually good. Even if a traumatic event happens these children have a better emotional repertoire to respond with, and more resiliency derived from a stable sense of self.

Difficult

Difficult children have a more negative initial response and present a lower activity level. Moody, temperamental, and fussy are terms used to describe difficult children. A lackluster environment devoid of stimulation will only exacerbate an already cranky infant whose caregivers are emotionally unequipped to handle him or her. Caregivers who are non- responsive, hostile, or negative themselves are likely to be headed into a firestorm as they attempt to deal with a difficult or slow to warm up child. These dynamics often precede severe forms of neglect and child abuse. A parent with addiction problems, low resources, poor coping abilities, who comes from an abusive home is more likely to react inappropriately and with catastrophic consequences.

Slow to Warm Up

This categorical delineation denotes children with the  lowest energy, most negative response to change or present conditions-- and is the most cautious about change. Moreover, these children have been described as having a low adaptability and low mood intensity. are likely to illicit a more negative response from their caregivers especially if their biology is similar to their caregivers who will themselves be less likely to properly respond to and attach to such a child. The less attachment afforded a difficult or slow to warm up child the less likely they are to hit their milestones and thrive through environmental stimulation that would allow them more hope for a successful future. Without the proper interventions along the way from concerned professionals these children are at risk for failure-to-thrive, mood and personality pathology. Interventions can break cycles of abuse and perhaps usher in healthier ways of being and parenting for future generations.

Low Intelligence

A child with low intelligence coupled with a difficult or slow to adapt temperament will likely be on a very negative trajectory as s/he moves through the life span continuum.
The effects of low IQ, poor parenting, poverty, poor role modeling, and poor attachment will most likely lead to further emotional problems, eventual behavioral problems, and the high likelihood of repeating this genetic pattern in adulthood.
Since we tend to recreate elements of our own childhood and carry that into our own adulthood the future looks bleak, indeed, for a child in this situation for whom an intervention is not provided. Addiction, poverty, incarceration, poor health, and even early death are likely scenarios to be generationally rooted and passed through biology and environment.