DEALING WITH CHANGE (part two)

Last week we talked about how to deal with the big changes in our lives. We said these kinds of changes happen to everybody, and when they do, they always produce a lot of stress. They can be any kind of change - physical, psychological, emotional.
Last time we said one way to deal with the problem of change is to always look for God in it. God is involved in everything in our lives - even the areas that seem most traumatic. We said that by looking for Him, we will expand our thinking and begin to see change as a positive experience. Today we are going to move ahead and look at two more ways to deal with the big changes in our lives.
A second way to deal with change is to ask God to use it to mature us.
Take a look at Romans 5:3-4. "We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials for we know that they help us develop endurance, and endurance develops strength of character..............." Romans 5:3-4
For most people rejoicing over problems and trials is not natural. However, this passage says we should do it, and it explains why. It says problems and trials produce endurance, and endurance produces strength of character. However, the option to endure is not automatic -- it's always a personal choice. We have to decide -- whether we will go through the problem or the trial -- or just give up and go in the opposite direction. IT'S ALWAYS A CHOICE.
So how do we decide to endure? Well, one thing we can do is look for benefits that the trail or problem will produce. That seems counterintuitive. How can anything painful produce anything good? After all, isn't pain something to be avoided? Yes, in most cases it is. But Romans 5:3-4 says that problems and trials help us to endure, which strengthens our character. AND THAT'S A BENEFIT! HAVING OUR CHARACTER IMPROVED IS A HUGE BENEFIT.
OK, so how does that work? Well, we all have character issues that can be improved. But many times we are not fully aware of them. And when that's the case we can always ask God to show us. And that's something we should regularly do, by the way. Take a look at Psalm 139:23-24.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you, and lead me along the path of everlasting life."Psalm 139:23-24
OK, let's summarize what we have said so far. Romans 5:3-4 says God uses problems and trials to build endurance and to strengthen our character. Psalm 139:23-24 says God will show us the areas of character He is working on. But there's one more ingredient that's needed in this process that we haven't talked about. We need strength to make all this happen, and WE DON'T HAVE IT. So let me give you one more passage which addresses that issue -- Isaiah 40:29-31.
"He gives power to the weak and strength to the powerless. Even youths will become weak and tired, and young men will fall in exhaustion. But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:29-31
OK, let's take all these verses and put them into a prayer. Lord, I am facing a problem (trial) right now. You tell me in Romans 5:3-4 that you are using it to strengthen my character. In Psalm 139:23-24 You tell me I can ask You to show me what character issues You are working on, and You will tell me. I also know that this situation I am facing may take some time to work out, and You are developing endurance in me. In Isaiah 40:29-31 you tell me that if I trust You, I will find new strength. Lord, I am going to trust that You are in control -- that You are strengthening my character -- that You are helping me endure. Thank You for these wonderful promises. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.
That's how we can ask God to mature us through changes in our lives.
Another good way to deal with change is reach out to others.
When we reach out to others there are two directions we can go -- vertically to God and horizontally to people. And we should do both. Let's talk about reaching out vertically first. Let's look at Proverbs 8:17.
"I love all who love me. Those who search will surely find me." Proverbs 8:17
This is another one of God's great promises, and implementing it is pretty straight forward. We simply say, "God, I need You, and I am looking for You". God will respond to that, because He always does what He says He will do. That's the vertical approach.
Let's take a look at the horizontal approach. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 says,
“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their work. If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
Some of us are pretty good at reaching out to God, but we are not too good at reaching out to other people. We have all kinds of excuses. “I don’t want to burden people.” "Nobody is really interested in what is going on with me anyway." And so on. But God designed relationships as an important way for us to help each other . In James 5:16 God says,
"Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results." James 5:16
There's great power in establishing relationships with other people. I recently came across an interesting description of how people relate to each other. When it comes to relationships there are two kinds of people - "innies" and "outies". I'm not talking about belly buttons - I'm actually talking about two different kinds of people. "Innies" tend to get stressed out and withdraw into themselves whenever problems arrive. They go into their closets, or they take long walks, or do whatever they do to isolate themselves. They won't talk to anybody, and they try to work everything out ourselves. "Outies" on the other hand are just the opposite. "Outies" talk to everybody. Whenever they have problems, they get on their phones and start calling or texting everybody. They talk to all their friends, and they will even talk to people who are not their friends. "Outies" get everything out.
So let me ask you - who do you think is going to do better - the "innies" or the "outies"? The answer is obvious - it's the "outies". The reason is because they expose themselves to more opportunities for help. I frequently come across people who are "innies". The first thing they always do is ask me how I'm doing. That's called deflecting. They're deflecting the conversation away from themselves, and they get me talking about my favorite subject – which is me. Finally when I catch on, I ask them how they're doing. And then they will grudgingly tell me what's happening with them, but it's like pulling teeth. They will say things like, "I'm not having any trouble NOW." Or, "I'm feeling better, NOW." And so on. And when I ask them why they have such a hard time talking about their problems, they'll say, “I just don’t like to bother people.” "Beside I think talking about yourself is an ego trip".
Now if you’re an "innie", you need to stop it. You need to find someone you feel comfortable talking to. And if you don't have a person like that in your life, ask God to lead you to such a person., because He will. God has designed us to live in community. He told Adam, "It's not good for man to be alone." And that's true for all of us. So, once you find a person like that, ask them if it's OK to talk about your problems. If they agree, which they will always do, go ahead. But do it carefully - don't dump. Dumping is a good way to alienate somebody right off the bat.
Well, that's it for now. Over the past two weeks we have talked about three ways to deal with the big changes in our lives. It is our hope that God will bless you as you implement these approaches. See you next time...