Recovering from Resentment (part two)

Last week we began a discussion of resentment and we talked about three common causes. We said the three causes were:

1)What people say about us.

2) What people think about us.

3) What people do to us.

Today we are going to continue our discussion of resentment, and we are going to talk about three major characteristics of resentment and what these characteristics do to us. The first characteristic of resentment is it produces irrational behavior. Job says resentment doesn't make sense. Take a look at Job 5:2.

“To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish and senseless thing to do.” Job 5:2

Why does he say it's foolish and senseless? Well, one of the biggest problems with resentment is it can prevent us from thinking things through. In other words it makes us irrational. A good example is Moses. Moses was picked by God to lead the Jews out of Egypt to the promised land. But they wandered in the desert for 40 years, because of their lack of faith on the part of the Jews. They complained and grumbled the entire time. And this would grind Moses' gears. He could see the hand of God in everything that was going on, but the Jews somehow missed it. Over time Moses developed resentment toward the Jews, and the Bible says he became irrational. Take a look at Psalm 106:33.

“He (Moses) was so bitter he spoke without stopping to think.” Psalm 106:33

Not stopping to think is a description of being irrational. Pressure builds up - problems develop - frustrations abound and all these things short circuits our brains, and we don't think things through. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever been is a situation where you became resentful, and it ultimately caused you to become irrational? It's happened to me, and I can tell you it's not very pretty. A second characteristic of resentment is it makes us bitter

Bitterness occurs when there are unresolved resentments that are allowed to fester. This can have devastating effects. It destroys our peace of mind.It prolongs hurt, because we keep thinking about the problem that caused resentment in the first place. That in turn affects relationships, and it makes us miserable and difficult to be around. Bitterness is often called emotional suicide. Bitterness can also lead to what is called the "blame game".In the "blame game" we look for weaknesses and problems in other people and use them to justify our actions. We will say things like:That person was insensitive, or selfish, or stupid. or dishonest, or manipulative, or whatever. And because they are these things, I am justified in feeling the way I do and doing what I do.That's the "blame game" and it's simply a rationalization for my bad behavior.

A third characteristic of resentment is it’s unhealthy. Job 21:23-25 says,

"Some men stay healthy till the day they die. They die happy and at ease. Others have no happiness at all. They live and die with bitter hearts." Job 21:23-25

Job says unhappy people have bitter hearts. Doctors have discovered there's a strong connection between emotional and physical health. And resentment is the unhealthiest emotion people can have. Why?Because it has so many side effects. It causes fatigue. It drains us of energy. It causes insomnia. And it causes many physical problems like backaches, stomachaches and headaches and heartaches, etc. OK these are three common characteristics of resentment. There are others we could talk about, but these are the major ones.

Next time I want to talk about some practical cures for resentment. Until then have a blessed week....