Meet the 'Bad Girls': Q&A with Dr. Carole Lieberman

With Valentine's Day coming up and Lindsay Lohan in the news again, we decided to catch up with psychiatrist Dr. Carole Lieberman, author of Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets (Cogito Media). The book explores why men fall head over heels for the wrong type of girl and how women can end the frustration of losing their man to a bad girl. Lieberman interviewed more than 100 men who shared intimate details of their bad girl experiences.

Patch corresponded with Lieberman by e-mail in advance of her reading and signing copies of the book Wednesday at 7 p.m., at the Barnes & Noble Westside Pavilion.

Patch: How did you get interested in the topic of bad girls?

 As a psychiatrist who helps people find love, I have become increasingly aware of what a a jungle it is out there! It's gotten harder than ever to find love because people are growing up in more and more dysfunctional homes and are left feeling unlovable. This makes people defensive and scared of getting their hearts broken.  Being fearful of rejection and abandonment, men and women end up hurting each other and turning into "bad boys" and "bad girls" to protect themselves.

What defines a bad girl?

 A bad girl breaks men's hearts. She has often had a dysfunctional relationship with her father, which has propelled her into the arms of men who have made her feel unlovable. These men have hurt, abused, or abandoned her in the past.  To protect herself, she has taken her heart off her sleeve and locked it away, giving up hope of ever meeting a charming prince who will kiss her and make her feel cherished.  She instead transforms her pain, fear, and anger into a single-minded crusade to get “something,” and she goes after what a man can give her, punishing him for all the previous men who have treated her badly and leaving men’s broken hearts in her wake.

What are the different types of bad girls?

 There are a Dozen Dangerous Damsels, The Gold-Digger, Addict, Sex Siren, Sexual Withholder, Married Woman on the Prowl, Commitment-Phobe, Husband Hunter and Trapper, Husband Stealer, Ultimate Damsel in Distress, Cougar, Ball-Buster and Bad Girl Scorned.

Why are men attracted to bad girls?

I interviewed over 100 men who have loved bad girls and lived‚ barely, to tell about it. Men are attracted to each of the 12 types of bad girls for various reasons. Some are excited by the pure sex appeal of these women, some like the allure of a woman who needs rescuing, while others enjoy the challenge of the emotionally unavailable woman.  In general, what these bad girls have in common is that they make their man feel like the biggest stud on the planet — a powerful aphrodisiac!  And these men are often sitting ducks for bad girls because of issues from early childhood such as neglect, abuse, his parents’ divorce, being adopted, a death of a parent, and other conditioning that makes them prone to the bad girl’s spell.

What can “good girls” learn from “bad girls”?

Although I don’t advocate turning good girls into bad girls, I do discuss the bad girl secrets that have been proven to attract a man, keep him hooked, and unlock his heart—secrets that good women can use without being “bad” themselves.  These are the "Six Secret Spells of Seduction" that I mention in my book.  You’ll have to read my book to find out, but I can tell you as a teaser that sex appeal is definitely one of them!

Is there anything else we should know about bad girls?  

To get deeper insights into themselves and be better prepared to survive the dating jungle, women can take my "Bad Girl Test" to see how bad they are, and men can take my "Sitting Duck Test" to see how vulnerable they are to bad girls.  That way men who are prone to falling for the bad girl can begin to take action to protect themselves, women who are bad girls can better understand their own psychology and the harmful impact they have on men, and the good girl can learn how to capture some of the bad girl’s charms, without becoming a bad girl herself.

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