Recovering From an Emotional Eruption at Work

You stayed up all night working on a sales presentation, hoping to woo a big-name company and convince the prospective client to do business with your firm. But what sounded good at 1 a.m. sounded awful just a few hours later, and the deal didn’t get done. Your boss came down on you. Hard. You couldn’t help sobbing and letting all your frustrations out.

Is there any way to recover, or did you just ruin your career?

We try to remain professional at work despite the challenges that inevitably arise. But sometimes your emotions can get the best of you. Whether it’s crying after a hard day, berating a colleague who made a mistake or losing your cool in a meeting, almost everyone has gone a step beyond standard decorum at least once.

Here’s how to recover from an emotional outburst at work:  

You Cry at Work

Crying if things aren’t going your way isn’t necessarily a career killer. In some workplaces, colleagues may see tears as a sign of weakness and assume you’re not up to the pressures of the job. But this feeling is far from universal. Most coworkers can relate to what you’re going through, and several may have even been in your shoes before.

However, you don’t want to become the office crybaby. If you lose it every time you’re stressed, it can make others uncomfortable, and they may justifiably question your ability to handle the rigors of your role.

If you know a certain situation is likely to evoke tears, do what you can to head it off or prepare for it. For instance, you might be dreading a difficult meeting with your hard-charging boss. It may be worth role-playing the discussion with a friend or colleague ahead of time so you can anticipate how the conversation will go and steel yourself.

If you feel tears starting to well up, excuse yourself so you can regain your composure. If you begin to sob despite your best efforts, approach those who witnessed the event after you’ve gathered yourself. You might say, “As you can see, this topic means a lot to me. I’m sorry I had such a strong emotional reaction. Can we revisit the topic now?”

You Lose Your Temper With a Colleague           

You’ve had it! A coworker failed to deliver a key part of your weekly report again. You marched straight to her desk and screamed, “When are you going to do your job?!” You couldn’t care less that the entire office was within earshot. What should you do?

Apologize. Immediately. Getting frustrated with a coworker isn’t unusual, but it’s never OK to publicly demean someone you work with.

A better approach would have been to talk with your coworker well before this incident: “This is the third time you haven’t sent me the information I need in time to compile my report. Others in the organization rely on this information. How can we work together to find a solution?” If a problem persists, involve your manager.

Losing your temper — especially if you do so repeatedly — can quickly degrade your relationships with coworkers and damage your professional reputation.

When you feel your temper rising, try removing yourself from the situation until you’ve calmed down. Keep in mind, however, that your actions can sometimes speak as loud as your words. Even if you don’t yell at a colleague, slamming your office door, punching the wall or swearing to yourself can put everyone on edge and cause them to question your professionalism.

You Hugged a Coworker

Although it’s definitely not an emotional eruption, hugging a colleague can create an awkward workplace atmosphere, just like the situation above. In some offices, a hug is as common as handshake. But that doesn’t mean it’s standard practice everywhere. Three-quarters of executives our company surveyed said they rarely, if ever, hug clients or business contacts.

If you work in a casual office where hugging is the norm, it may be just fine to embrace a colleague. But if you work in a conservative industry or are meeting someone for the first time, extending your hand is the best bet. The key to any successful greeting is not causing the other person discomfort. Always respect personal boundaries, and if you sense a hug made someone uncomfortable, don’t do it again.

In fact, if there’s one thing to keep in mind when it comes to showing emotion at work, it’s how your actions impact others. Doing so is most problematic when it makes others uneasy or causes them to pause the next time they need to work with you. The more quickly you regain your composure, and the more comfortable people feel that a similar incident won’t be repeated, the shorter their memory of your actions will be.