'Dog Doo Wall of Shame' Takes Back the Street

We've been getting some good laughs this month from guest columnist Diane Haithman and her dog Heidi, who've been sending us items from Studio City. 

This week Diana and her pooch take on one of life's big questions -- dog poop -- and one anarchistic move to do something about it.

The text of the original column follows.  AR

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The dog and I are proud to say we have reached a milestone as Patch reporters – we finally have our first unnamed deep-throat source!

“Don’t use my name” or “this is all on background” was a fairly standard response when I was working as a Los Angeles Times reporter, but since Heidi and I started our column for Patch, we’ve found residents of The SC willing to gab about just about anything, on the record.  We are an open and trusting people, strongly committed to community journalism and shameless self-promotion.

But we discovered one very private—and annoyed—SC citizen earlier this week while we were inspecting a highly unusual phenomenon:  A sign affixed to a light pole on Woodbridge Street, just east of Tujunga Boulevard, bearing this provocative headline: “THE DOG DOO WALL OF SHAME.” 

The sign, covered with multiple layers of transparent packing tape (apparently to prevent easy removal) bore numerous blurred photographs of people caught in the act of fleeing this grassy strip without picking up after their canine companions. 

Here’s the rest of the text: “All of these inconsiderate jerks think it is okay to leave dog turds where you can step on them and for others to clean. They have been caught brown-handed on CCTV. The only recourse is to publicly humiliate them. Pick up after your dog or you will join them on the Dog Doo Wall of Shame!”

Now, we’ve examined the retrieval problem before on the Patch (see our and investigative report from earlier this year).  But using a security camera system to document the crime makes a particularly strong—and hilarious—statement. 

Heidi and I were pretty smug when we encountered the Wall of Shame a couple of weeks ago—we had just taken care of business in a tidy manner on another nearby street.  A nooner is unusual for Heidi, a morning and evening regular, but we came prepared.  And don’t tell me you can’t accomplish swift, accurate and sanitary pick-up while eating .  It’s really not much harder than texting while parallel-parking. To quote our president: Yes, we can.

Earlier this week, we went back to take some notes. As I was scribbling, a man strolled onto the sidewalk. “How do you like my sign?” he asked proudly. Then, he proceeded to give us the poop.

Turns out that our source—who asked not to be named because some do not appreciate his guerilla tactics—is a local property owner who has been battling the problem for years.  This sign, posted for about two weeks, represents his latest effort to take back the turf.   Actually, he explains, the security camera focused on Turd Central was installed to deter burglars, but also works on those who look the other way when nature calls. 

Without the camera and the notice, he says, he’s out picking up after dogs three or four times a week. Now he can go weeks without scooping. “It’s kind of obnoxious, but it works,” he observes.

Our unnamed source—whom we can’t resist dubbing  “Deep Doo-Doo”—professes to love dogs and other animals but admits to being “a little obsessive-compulsive” about dog leavings. 

“If I step on it, I have to throw those shoes away,” he says with a shudder. He blames some of the inconsiderate dog traffic on visitors to popular just across Tujunga – a place he is not fond of because it is frequented by “narcissistic wanna-be actor types” who not only don’t pick up, but snap up much of the local street parking.  (I did not mention to him that Heidi is not only a dog, but an actor who loves Aroma).

Our source believes that the world, including our community, is moving toward a future in which Closed Circuit Television (CCTV) monitors every public space. He cites the current situation in London, where by one estimate there exists one security camera for every 14 citizens. By some reports, those cameras have led to the arrest of many who went rogue during the recent London riots.

For the moment, our source is happy to limit his watch to Woodbridge.

“The public humiliation is a deterrent,” he says happily. He cites the example of one neighbor who does not pick up after her pooch, but is now afraid to walk the dog on Woodbridge. “If she won’t come on this street, “ he says, “then I’ve won.”