Our Marriage: Life as a Lesbian Family

Xochi and Marka Maberry-Gaulke got to read vows at their parents' wedding.

Xochi gets emotional when talking about the day calling it "our wedding--they're the ones being married, but we're the ones being pronounced a family in the eyes of the state."

Their home life didn't change, but, as her mom Sue puts it, "There's something profound to being legal."

Together Since the 1970s

Cheri Gaulke and Sue Maberry met in the 1970s.  They were artists at the Woman's Building on Spring Street near the L.A. River.  Together since 1979, Sue was the first one to suggest they have a child.  

They had a "commitment ceremony" in 1987 for their friends to bear witness to their decision to become a family.  It wasn't until July 5, 2008, in the small window of time before Proposition 8 passed, that they made it a marriage in the eyes of the law. 

Being a family with two moms is still a little different in L.A.  In a way the kids think its cool, in another it's like "coming out" every time they have to explain it to someone.

Lesbian Parent as Mother Bear

Cheri candidly admits part of her became "this fierce mother bear determined to make the world safe for my children not to be seen as freaks.  When you lead a different lifestyle, you're open to public comment."  

Rather than resist, "We chose to live our lives in ways that let people in, to make the world safe for families like ours."

"We're constantly having to define and redefine what family means."  Sue shares one incident where they politely explained their family to an inquisitive woman.  After taking it into consideration, the woman decided, "Well, I don't approve."  

The Maberry-Gaulke family breaks into laughter.