A Candlelight vigil, a MOMS Club and love

"Well, this is the worst MOMS Club reunion ever."  Wise words from a fellow former MOMS Clubber last night at the candlelight vigil walk for Tommy Mutz. Tommy was hit by a car and critically injured while riding his bike home from Cosumnes Oaks High School last Wednesday and we had gathered in a public show of support, hope, and grief for his family.  

I met Tommy's mom Melissa almost ten years ago at the first MOMS Club of Laguna event I ever attended. It was a Christmas ornament exchange potluck, and from the moment she walked in the door, her gregarious and funny nature were obvious.  I never really had much contact with Melissa's kids. Their ages didn't match up with my kids and most of the events where we socialized were Mom's Night Out sort of events where we savored some adult time and left the kids at home.  It was a good group, we had some fun times, and I'm certain that I'm not the only one whose sanity was saved more than once by those gatherings.  We were all moms of small children, buried some days in diapers and tantrums, and having an outlet or a shoulder to cry on was priceless. 

Fast forward seven or eight years and most of us have graduated from toddler and preschooler concerns to puberty, new schools, and the reality that dating and driving are just around the corner.  Along the way, MOMS Club became less a part of our busy lives and we moved on.  

When I heard that a child had been hit by a car last week, yes, I was sad.  But when I read the name of the child and realized that it was Melissa's son, I was horrified. I have spent some time thinking about why it mattered whether I knew them or not.  I guess what it probably came down to is that if it can happen to someone I know, then it can happen to me, to my child. Somehow that made it more real.

Which leads me to wonder: What if we all just behaved as if they are all our own children?  What if we always drove as carefully as if it were our child on that bike or crossing the street at school pick-up? What if we stopped and helped any child we came across who was being picked on or bullied?   What if we gave every child the same benefit of the doubt that we give our own? 

Wouldn't this world be a better place for it?  I think so.

Patrick McDougall, principal of COHS, spoke eloquently at the vigil last night.  He said something that I believe will stick with me (and I hope with many others) for a long time.  He acknowledged that while we all may have different spiritual beliefs, or even none at all, that the older he gets the less he cares about the details because it is the love that matters. 

Yes, I absolutely believe that to be true. 

I was extremely sad to find out this morning that despite the best efforts of many, many people through modern medicine, love, thoughts and prayers, Tommy has passed away, leaving a community heartbroken.   

I sincerely hope that the Mutz family was somehow able to feel the love emanating from COHS last night and will continue to feel that love and support on an ongoing basis as they make their way through this nightmare. 

I also hope that each and every one of us will hug our families a little tighter, drive a little more cautiously, and love a little more freely today, tomorrow, and every day after that.  I know I will.

Anyone interested in making a monetary donation to the Mutz family during this time of crisis is welcome to visit  http://www.everribbon.com/ribbon/view/1500  and do so.  

There are several MOMS (Moms Offering Moms Support) Clubs in the Elk Grove area. Anyone interested in more information can go to http://www.egmoms.com/join.htm or momsclub.org.