So, what is lifecoaching anyway?

Lifecoaching sounds curious or silly to some. What is lifecoaching? Why would someone hire a lifecoach vs. a counselor? These are reasonable questions to ask.

We might sum up lifecoaching like this: Counseling gets you from dysfunctional to functional. Coaching gets you from functional to fantastic. Personally, I believe that both have great value depending on where you are emotionally and what your focus is.

Author Brené Brown described the difference like this: “When you have a thought you absolutely cannot stop thinking about, or a thought you absolutely CANNOT think about, perhaps counseling would be a more appropriate place to start. Lifecoaching is very present and forward-focused. It’s a positive step which builds from today forward, rather than re-living events of the past.”

If you are simply a person who cannot seem to get clarity on one or more issues— dating or finding a meaningful relationship, attaining a career that is fulfilling, being joyful in your life and relationships, releasing yourself from damaging spending habits and debt or moving on after divorce or trauma, coaching may be your lifesaver.

Coaching gives clarity when you’re feeling angry, resentful, unappreciated, lonely, entitled, fearful, stuck, or have expectations that aren’t being met. We have transitions all our life. Navigating them with self-awareness and compassion is crucial. Coaching unlocks the “why” behind those feelings, but doesn’t end there. It helps you reveal to yourself what really matters.

I can begin with my own discovery of lifecoaching when I saw Rhonda Britten in a TV show called Starting Over. It was filmed in a home housing six women who were “reinventing their lives." This was an astonishing concept to me since I had “re-invented” myself to some extent several times in my adulthood. I also felt stuck, dissatisfied and wasn’t so fond of my career. I thought adding licensing and titles would eventually make me happy. But, it didn’t.  

I watched as these women created businesses, released themselves from toxic relationships, debt and grief and learned how to thrive!

We all go through major transitions in life, with work, marriage, becoming parents and when we suffer illness, pain, grief or loss.

For me, my family dynamic was very similar to Rhonda’s, so her story resonated with me. Suicide in both our families (my brother) and several generations of dysfunction were being passed down. I had a chronic pain condition. I wanted to understand how I could rise above these circumstances and flourish. Simply “surviving” or “getting by” seemed like a life sentence. I had done counseling and support groups initially, and that was very comforting. Now I wanted to feel unbridled joy and enthusiasm for my life and rediscover my creativity. I wanted to “live the life my soul intended.”

What I discovered were invaluable life-changing insights. An "aha moment,” as Oprah says, would occur again and again.

I began my training as a coach with The Fearless Living Institute and completed it through the Applied Neuroscience Institute. In addition to the skills and tools gained from Fearless Living, I learned that there are scientific advances in the neurosciences that (in a nutshell) mean we can make lasting changes in our neuropathways that improve our emotional resilience and level of happiness. There are simple tests that reveal our innate, individual strengths, putting us in a position of great empowerment in our lives.

Coaching gives you the key that unlocks your unique gifts and strengths. Having the skills and tools to love, nurture, achieve, solve and create is the most valuable gift imaginable. 

Kimberly Shaw is a Lifecoach in Elk Grove.