Overheard on the Train Going Downtown

A guy on his cell phone; I only heard his side of the conversation – bright guy:

 “Elitist? Romney? No way!

“Sure, he went to college, so what?

“Harvard – same as Obama – so?

“He was never in the military? I didn’t know that. Any of his kids in the Service?

“No? Well, at least he worked for a living, just like I did.

“Umm.

What do you mean, he never worked a day in his life? That can’t be true – you’re lying! Who’d he work for?

“Fired how many? We can’t be talking about the same guy.

“How much?

“Millions? So he saved his money – that’s what I want to do.

“That’s a U.S. territory, right? Anyway, he must pay a ton of taxes.

“You’re kidding. Yeah, but he practically invented healthcare!

“So, he’s probably right, Florida would go broke – bunch of old people.

“Who says he doesn’t want kids to go to college? That’s another lie.

“Well, if they can’t afford it, they can get a job building something. Everybody can’t be a doctor.

“There’ll be plenty of jobs right here when we fix the border.

“I don't care where they were born, if they’re not Americans, let ’em go home. These people are taking our jobs, damn it!

“Hell no, I’m not a farmer, but farmers are going broke in Arizona and Nevada and New Mexico and Pennsylvania – oh, right, I forgot – they have coal mines there. Well, we need coal, too!

“Global what?

“Don’t get me started on that – it’s just another one of their lies.

“Scientists? You want some guy in a white smock to tell you what’s going on? I know if it’s hot or cold. Get outta here with that garbage.

“You’ll never hear that from Romney, no siree bob! He believes in the Bible like we do.

“No way. He’s only got one wife.

“Those were his great-great-grandparents! At least they don’t believe in mixed marriages – and they’re not gay! Your guy’s not even American.

“I don’t know – somewhere in Africa, I guess.

“Muslim, of course!

“I don't care what his birth certificate says – I can tell by looking at him. He’s the elitist! He’s some kind of professor – thinks he knows the Constitution and all. What’s he know about the workingman?

He won't get my wife's vote; we're pro-life! Every woman I know is against abortion.

Yeah, I read about it – 14 and pregnant. So, they’ll grow up together; they'll be really close. She wasn’t really raped, anyway. Probably asked for it.

“Well, if Obama gets back in, say goodbye to your guns. What’ll we do if the government tries to take over the country? How will we protect ourselves? You think the Army and the police are going to side with us? Hell, no they won’t – not if Obama is still around. You won't take my guns from me, I’ll tell you that. Like that actor ‘Moses’ said, ‘over my dead body you won’t.’

“I don't care who he was. In this day and age, them terrorists can come in here and . . .

“You think not, huh? Well, don't come begging for my AK47.

“I don't know if I’ll vote at all. Them God-hating atheists can’t get elected, thank God. We’re going lick the floor with you Democrats. We’ll have the House and the Senate. We’ve already got the Supreme Court. Romney will get in, and we’ll take this country back.

“Don't be a wise guy.

“New Deal, my Aunt Mary. My grandparents had the same problems back in the 30s and 40s; trade unions and raising taxes – that’s how we got where we are today. We had to have a war to get us out of that mess.

“Yeah, well, put ’em in jail. Prisoners can clean up the streets and collect the garbage. Poor people got to have something to do to keep them off the dole.

“What middle class? I’m the middle class.

“We made over 87 grand last year. And the kids just graduated – they have damn near as much debt as we do.

“How much more did you make?

“And you think that’s middle class? Romney knows how to make money, that’s all I know – and he’s smart. He knows how to make people rich.

“Trickle down, of course – what do you think? And pay less taxes! He’ll get the banks to help us start new businesses. He’ll stop regulating Wall Street and let them do their job!

Those were just a couple of bad apples.

You think the government should put people to work? That’s Socialism – that’s un-American.  You want the government to do it all, don’t you? Free healthcare, free education, free everything – right?

“Don't give me that history baloney. When Romney gets in, we’ll all get jobs, we’ll stop the baby-killers, we’ll get Jesus back in our schools and courtrooms, and we’ll send them Muslims back to where they came from. You better believe it – Romney’s got a plan.

 “No, he won’t change his mind, either. Anything is better than that black . . .

“What racist? I’m a Christian. This is a Christian country!

“You better stop talking like that if you know what’s good for you. You don’t know sh . . ”

That’s all I heard. I had to leave and go look for a job.