Dating does get frustrating, repetitive, and exhausting--it's all true (seriously, how many first dates can a person have?). But the insidious problem with bitter feelings at the end of a date is that they accumulate, and over time become a more generalized attitude about the pursuit of love itself.
After a few good email exchanges, texts, and calls it's so easy for that little voice in the back of our mind--the one that balances reason with desire--to move quickly into fantasy.
However, the moment we walk in and realize that the image in our head doesn't line up with the person in front of us we often make a crucial mistake. We write the person off. We frequently dismiss people who have real potential because we didn't recognize it. So do you hang around for a polite 20 minutes checking your smartphone, making sure the person knows you're not interested? Or make polite conversation bemoaning your bad luck once again before making an awkward exit? Not so fast!
Perhaps readjusting our internal lens can let us take a closer look and see what peaked our interest in the first place. After all, the disappointment reflects who we wished the person to be; not the reality of who he is. A conversation showing genuine interest--with nothing at stake--might create new sparks, or other surprising possibilities.
Optimism and curiosity become part of a positive self; a self that is open to others, to new ways of thinking, and to unexpected opportunities.
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This post was contributed by a community member. The views expressed here are the author's own.
The views expressed in this post are the author's own. Want to post on Patch?