Blog: 'Helicopter Parents' Aren't Really Helping Their Kids

I am always surfing news sites and reading headlines on websites throughout the day and sometimes I am caught by surprise with stories that just seem to me to be, well, silly. Therefore; I definitely had to pause when I saw the headline:

Aggressive parents force egg hunt cancellation

Apparently, the simple event of letting kids hunt for Easter eggs got out of control in Colorado Springs, Colorado before the kids even had a chance to scramble for eggs.

"Organizers of an annual Easter egg hunt attended by hundreds of children have canceled this year's event, citing the behavior of aggressive parents who swarmed into the tiny park last year, determined that their kids get an egg.That hunt was over in seconds, to the consternation of egg-less tots and their own parents. Too many parents had jumped a rope set up to allow only children into Bancroft Park in a historic area of Colorado Springs."

The parents were SO intent that their kids HAD to have those Easter eggs that they broke the rules, replaced benign observation with aggression and most significantly, were determined to insure that their kids got eggs by rushing in there to claim them for themselves.

Parenting observers and experts cite this sad experience as a prime example of "helicopter parenting". These are parents who insist on being intensely involved in every aspect of their child's lives to the extent that they must insure that their child never fails, even at an Easter egg hunt. I think it's time for some parents to get a grip.

"Ron Alsop, a former Wall Street Journal reporter and author of "The Trophy Kids Grow Up," which examines the "millennial children" generation states: They (parents) can't stay out of their children's lives. They don't give their children enough chances to learn from hard knocks, mistakes."

On parents who are over-involved in their childrens' lives "Alsop further adds: "I don't see any sign of it abating," he said. "It seems everything is more and more and more competitive, fast paced, and I think parents are going to see they need to do more to help their kids get an edge."

So it has gotten to a point where a child can't help themselves in an Easter Egg hunt or maybe can't break the pinata at a party and their self-esteem and future is so dependent on their success in such mundane moments that parents have to insure success? I hope we haven't gotten to that level yet. Failure is sometimes healthy. Not reaching a goal can be character-building and help one develop intestinal fortitude and become more determined to succeed.  Letting someone else do everything for you doesn't build character. It encourages dependence.

As an ex-teacher, I'm all too familiar with the schools, teachers and parents who just don't want to admit that every child isn't wonderful, valuable and "special". They build up a child's reputation based on nothing concrete and I'll tell you something, kids know what's going on and it's not helping them, their parents or our society. It's not the worst thing to let a child slip, fall or fail. There are many, many problems and obstacles in life and if kids don't learn how to cope with them on smaller, manageable levels, then life may be even more difficult for them once they reach adulthood.

It's just silly for some parents to care so much about an Easter egg hunt that they have to jump in and ruin it for the kids. It's also silly to get upset if your child doesn't perform like a pro on a sports field or if they fail an occasional test at school. Now and then, reality checks are needed to help us all keep our perspective. Hopefully, that revelation will come sooner than later to the "helicopter parents" and then maybe their kids can once again benefit from the fun and innocent, and yes, sometimes trying moments of childhood.